Standing up there with sweaty palms and a microphone that feels heavier than a bowling ball, you’ve just delivered what you hope was a memorable bestman speech.
Your childhood stories landed well, the crowd laughed at your embarrassing anecdotes about the groom, and you managed to keep it classy enough that his grandmother didn’t walk out.
But here’s the thing: how you end your speech matters more than almost everything that came before it. A weak ending can make people forget all your brilliant jokes and heartfelt moments. A strong, funny finish? That’s what they’ll be talking about at the reception dinner and sharing on social media for weeks.
The perfect ending leaves everyone laughing, clapping, and feeling genuinely happy for the happy couple. Let’s explore some creative ways to wrap up your speech that will have the entire wedding party asking for your comedy writing secrets.
Funny Ways to End a Bestman Speech
These endings range from cleverly self-deprecating to wonderfully absurd, giving you options that match your personality and the couple’s sense of humor.
Each approach comes with specific techniques you can adapt to your style and relationship with the groom.
1. The Fake Emergency Exit
Picture this: you’re wrapping up your heartfelt toast, and suddenly you glance at your watch with genuine concern. “Oh no, I just realized something terrible. My parking meter expires in twenty minutes, and I parked three blocks away.” Pause for effect. “Just kidding! I walked here because I knew I’d be too emotional after this speech to drive safely. But seriously, let’s raise our glasses to [Bride] and [Groom], who somehow convinced us all to dress up and cry happy tears on a Saturday.”
This ending works because it builds tension and then releases it with an unexpected confession. The self-aware humor about getting emotional shows vulnerability while keeping things light. You can customize the “emergency” to match your personality—maybe you’re worried about missing your favorite TV show, or you suddenly realized you left your oven on.
2. The Reverse Psychology Toast
Start serious, then flip the script completely. “I want everyone to please NOT raise their glasses yet, because I have one final thing to say.” Watch as confused hands hover over wine glasses. “I said DON’T raise them because I want you to launch them into the air in celebration of the most ridiculous love story I’ve ever witnessed. [Groom], you somehow convinced the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman in this room to marry you. [Bride], you somehow convinced yourself this was a good idea. Either way, we’re all here for it!”
The humor lies in the misdirection and the playful roasting of both partners. This technique builds anticipation and gives you a moment to catch your breath before the big finish. Make sure your tone stays obviously joking so nobody thinks you’re criticizing the match.
3. The Time Travel Twist
“Before I wrap up, I have a confession. I’m actually from the future—the year 2054, to be exact. I traveled back in time specifically to attend this wedding because it becomes legendary in our family history. Your great-grandchildren will be telling stories about this day, specifically about how Uncle [Groom’s name] cried during the vows and how Aunt [Bride’s name] had to lend him her backup tissues.”
Continue with increasing absurdity: “I can’t tell you too much about the future without creating a paradox, but I can say that you two are still grossly in love, you still argue about whose turn it is to take out the trash, and yes, [Groom], you still refuse to ask for directions even when GPS technology advances to telepathic levels.”
This ending lets you make predictions about their future while maintaining the comedy through science fiction elements. The key is commitment to the bit—sell it with serious delivery until the obvious jokes land.
4. The Dramatic Mic Drop (That Isn’t)
Build up to what seems like a traditional mic drop moment. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why [Bride] and [Groom] are perfect for each other. I could keep talking, but honestly, I think I’ve said enough.” Pause dramatically, hold the microphone out like you’re about to drop it, then pull it back. “Actually, I lied. I haven’t said enough. I forgot to mention that [Groom] once got his head stuck in a fence trying to retrieve a frisbee, and [Bride] married him anyway. That’s true love, people!”
The humor comes from subverting expectations and adding one more embarrassing story right when people think you’re done. This technique works especially well if you’ve been building up to a sentimental moment—the additional silly story keeps things from getting too serious while still honoring the couple.
5. The Wedding Speech Bingo Card
“Before we toast, let me check my wedding speech bingo card to make sure I hit all the required elements.” Pull out an actual card or pretend to look at your phone. “Embarrassing childhood story about the groom? Check. Awkward dating history that I probably shouldn’t have mentioned? Double check. Moment where I almost started crying but covered it with a joke? Triple check.”
Continue ticking off boxes: “Prediction about their future that may or may not come true? Check. Reference to how much the bride’s father spent on this wedding? Check. And finally, ending that somehow makes everyone forget I’m not actually funny? Well, we’ll see about that one. Please raise your glasses to the happy couple!”
This self-aware approach acknowledges the clichés of wedding speeches while making your audience feel like they’re in on the joke. It’s particularly effective if your speech actually did include these elements, turning potential criticism into comedy gold.
6. The Fake Phone Call Interruption
Mid-sentence during your closing remarks, let your phone ring (or fake it convincingly). Answer with annoyance: “Hello? No, I told you I’m giving a bestman speech right now… What do you mean the catering for my wedding next month is confirmed? I’m not even engaged!” Pause for audience reaction. “Sorry everyone, apparently the universe is trying to pressure me into following [Groom’s] example. But until I find someone who tolerates my terrible jokes as well as [Bride] tolerates his, let’s focus on celebrating these two lovebirds!”
The unexpected interruption creates genuine surprise, and the self-deprecating humor about your own dating life takes pressure off the couple while keeping attention on their special day. Make sure the “caller” timing feels natural—practice this transition so it doesn’t seem forced.
7. The Recipe Metaphor Gone Wild
“I’ve been thinking about marriage like a recipe. You need two loving people, a dash of humor, a pinch of patience, and a healthy serving of compromise.” Start seriously, then get progressively more ridiculous. “But [Groom] and [Bride], your recipe is more like a cooking show gone wrong. Take one guy who thinks cereal counts as dinner, add a woman who can burn water, throw in two people who both insist they’re right about everything, and somehow you end up with the perfect relationship.”
Build to the absurd finish: “I don’t understand the chemistry, but it works. It’s like you followed a recipe written in a language neither of you speaks, using ingredients you can’t pronounce, and accidentally created something delicious. Here’s to your beautiful disaster of a love story!”
This ending works because everyone can relate to cooking disasters, and the extended metaphor gives you plenty of room for personalized jokes about the couple’s quirks.
8. The Awards Ceremony Spoof
Transform your ending into an awards show presentation. “And the award for Best Couple Who Somehow Found Each Other Despite All Logic goes to…” Build suspense with dramatic pauses. “The envelope please.” Pretend to open something. “This is shocking. It’s a tie between [Bride] and [Groom]! What are the odds?”
Continue the bit: “In accepting this award, [Groom] would like to thank his agent, his trainer, and whoever convinced him to finally get a haircut. [Bride] would like to thank her patience, her sense of humor, and her impressive ability to pretend [Groom’s] jokes are funny.”
The key is treating their relationship like a legitimate achievement while poking fun at award show clichés. This approach works especially well if either member of the couple works in entertainment or if they’re particularly dramatic personalities.
9. The Tech Support Ending
“Hold on everyone, I’m getting an error message.” Look at your notes or phone with confusion. “It says ‘Speech.exe has stopped working. Would you like to restart?’ Well, that’s embarrassing. Let me try turning my brain off and on again.” Pause and shake your head vigorously. “Okay, that didn’t work. I guess I’ll have to go with the manual backup ending.”
Switch to obviously reading from your palm: “Raise glasses. Say nice things about couple. Hope nobody notices I’ve been winging this entire speech. And… send. Perfect! The cloud has backed up all our good wishes for [Bride] and [Groom], so even if this reception crashes, your love will still be saved forever.”
This tech-savvy approach appeals to younger crowds and anyone who’s experienced frustrating technology moments. The humor lies in treating your speech like a malfunctioning computer program.
10. The Magic Show Finale
“For my final trick, I’m going to make this microphone disappear!” Hold it behind your back. “Ta-da! Oh wait, you can still see it? That’s weird. This usually works.” Bring it back with exaggerated confusion. “Well, since my magic career is over, I guess I’ll stick to my day job and wrap up this speech properly.”
Continue with increasingly silly magic references: “I can’t make the microphone disappear, but [Groom] somehow made all his bachelor days vanish with one ‘I do.’ [Bride] managed to make a grown man cry during their first dance rehearsal. And together, they’ve made all of us believe in fairy tale endings.”
The physical comedy combined with the magic metaphors creates a playful atmosphere. This works especially well if you’re naturally comfortable with physical humor or if the couple enjoys silly entertainment.
11. The Sports Commentary Switcheroo
Suddenly shift into sports announcer mode: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re here in the final moments of what has been an absolutely stunning performance by your bestman—that’s me, folks. The crowd is on their feet, the energy is electric, and it all comes down to this final play.”
Lower your voice like you’re calling a golf match: “He approaches the closing remarks with confidence. The audience is silent with anticipation. He raises the microphone for what could be the winning shot… and he NAILS the toast! The crowd goes wild! [Bride] and [Groom] have officially won the championship of love, and everyone’s a winner in this game!”
Sports commentary creates energy and excitement while building to your actual toast. This works particularly well if the couple or your friend group are sports fans, but the over-the-top delivery makes it funny even for non-sports people.
12. The Honest Feedback Form
“Before we finish, I’d like to get some feedback on my performance tonight. Please rate this speech on a scale of one to ten, where one is ‘please never let him near a microphone again’ and ten is ‘surprisingly not terrible.'” Look around expectantly. “I’m seeing mostly sevens and eights, which honestly is better than I expected.”
Continue the evaluation: “Comments section shows ‘too many embarrassing stories about the groom’—noted for future reference. ‘Needs more jokes about the bride’—[Bride], apparently you’re not embarrassing enough for comedy gold. And someone wrote ‘just wrap it up already’—fair point, Mom.”
This interactive approach makes the audience feel involved while allowing you to acknowledge that speeches can drag on. The self-deprecating humor about your own performance shows confidence and humility simultaneously.
13. The Weather Report Wrap-Up
Transform into a meteorologist delivering the forecast: “This is [Your Name] with your wedding weather report. Currently, we’re experiencing high-pressure systems of joy, with scattered showers of happy tears expected throughout the evening. Visibility is excellent for seeing the love between [Bride] and [Groom], and winds of laughter are coming from all directions.”
Build the forecast: “Looking ahead to their marriage forecast, we can expect decades of partly cloudy days with occasional storms that clear up quickly. Temperature readings show consistently warm hearts with zero chance of their love cooling down. And for tonight’s reception forecast? One hundred percent chance of dancing, with heavy precipitation of champagne and cake.”
Weather metaphors are universally relatable, and the format gives you a structured way to make predictions about their future while maintaining the comedy through meteorological language.
14. The Documentary Narrator Finish
Drop your voice into serious documentary mode: “And so, we witness the final moments of the ancient ritual known as ‘the bestman speech.’ Here, in their natural habitat of an overpriced reception venue, we observe a group of humans gathering to celebrate the mysterious bonding ceremony of two of their species.”
Maintain the nature documentary tone: “The male known as [Groom] has successfully attracted a mate through a complex courtship dance involving terrible pickup lines and an alarming number of text messages. The female, [Bride], has accepted this proposal despite witnessing his attempt to cook pasta without water.”
This David Attenborough-style narration creates comedy through the contrast between the formal documentary voice and silly observations about human behavior. The technique works because it treats normal wedding activities as if they’re exotic animal behaviors.
15. The Choose Your Own Adventure Ending
“Alright everyone, we’ve reached the end of this speech adventure. You now have three choices for how this story ends.” Count on your fingers dramatically. “Option A: We all raise our glasses in a traditional toast and pretend I didn’t just spend ten minutes embarrassing my best friend. Option B: We skip the toast entirely and go straight to the part where we eat cake and dance badly to music from our college years.”
Pause for effect: “Or Option C: We do both, because this is America and we can have our cake and toast it too. I’m seeing overwhelming support for Option C, which proves you’re all as indecisive as [Groom] when he’s choosing what to watch on Netflix.”
This interactive approach gives your audience agency while building to your actual toast. The reference to the couple’s everyday habits keeps the humor grounded in reality, and the “choose your own adventure” format appeals to anyone who grew up reading those books.
Wrapping Up
The perfect ending to your bestman speech should feel like you—authentic, confident, and genuinely happy for your friend. Whether you choose to go with dramatic flair, self-deprecating humor, or completely absurd comedy, the key is commitment to your chosen approach.
Your closing moments set the tone for everything that follows, from the reception energy to the memories people take home. A funny, memorable ending shows that you’ve put thought into making this day special while keeping the focus where it belongs—on celebrating two people who found each other.
Practice your chosen ending until it feels natural, but leave room for spontaneity if the moment calls for it. The best speeches feel conversational rather than rehearsed, even when every word has been carefully planned.