We’ve all been there. Someone asks you a question, and for whatever reason, you’d rather chew glass than give them a straight answer.
Maybe your boss wants to know why the quarterly reports are three weeks late. Perhaps your partner is asking about that mysterious charge on the credit card statement. Or your mom is wondering when you’re finally going to settle down and give her grandchildren.
Sometimes a direct answer feels like walking into a trap. Other times, you’re buying yourself precious thinking time. Whatever your reasons, there’s an entire arsenal of deflection techniques at your disposal that can turn even the most pointed question into a comedy show.
The best part? These tactics work because they catch people off guard, often leaving them so confused or amused that they forget what they originally asked.
Funny Ways to Avoid Answering a Question
These techniques range from the subtle to the absurd, giving you options for every social situation.
Master a few of these, and you’ll never be caught speechless again.
1. The Counter-Question Attack
This classic move involves answering their question with your question, effectively putting them on the defensive. The key is to make your counter-question sound legitimate while completely sidestepping their original inquiry.
Example scenario: “Did you finish the Johnson project?” Your response: “What exactly constitutes ‘finished’ in your opinion? Are we talking about first-draft finished or presentation-ready finished?”
This technique works because it forces the other person to clarify their expectations, buying you time while making them think you’re being thorough and thoughtful. The beauty lies in how it shifts the conversation’s focus from your potential shortcomings to their communication style.
Take it further by asking increasingly philosophical questions. “But what does ‘finished’ really mean? Can anything truly be complete, or are we all just works in progress?” Before you know it, you’re discussing existential philosophy instead of your missed deadline.
2. The Mysterious Oracle Approach
Channel your inner fortune cookie and respond with cryptic wisdom that sounds profound but means absolutely nothing. This technique works best when delivered with complete confidence and a knowing smile.
Example scenario: “Why were you late to the meeting?” Your response: “Time is but a river, and sometimes the current takes us where we need to be, not where we planned to go.”
The person asking will either be so confused they drop the subject entirely or so impressed by your apparent depth that they forget they were seeking accountability. Follow up with a gentle nod and walk away mysteriously, leaving them to ponder your “wisdom.”
For maximum effect, practice your delivery in the mirror. The key is maintaining eye contact while speaking slowly and deliberately, as if each word carries the weight of ancient knowledge.
3. The Selective Hearing Malfunction
Pretend you only heard part of their question and respond enthusiastically to something completely different. This technique requires quick thinking and excellent acting skills.
Example scenario: “How much did you spend on that vacation?” Your response: “Vacation? Oh my goodness, yes! The weather was absolutely incredible. Did you know they have seventeen different types of clouds there? I took so many pictures of cumulus formations.”
Keep talking about the weather, the local cuisine, or the fascinating architecture until they either give up or get so caught up in your travel stories that they forget about the money question entirely. This method works because people often feel rude interrupting someone who seems genuinely excited to share.
The trick is to pick up on any single word from their question and run with it in a completely unexpected direction. Practice this by watching game shows and responding to questions about geography with enthusiastic discussions about your breakfast choices.
4. The Technical Difficulties Excuse
Suddenly develop hearing problems, internet connectivity issues, or mysterious technological malfunctions right when the difficult question arrives. This works particularly well in video calls but can be adapted for in-person situations.
Example scenario: “Can you explain this expense report?” Your response: “Sorry, you’re breaking up. Can you hear me? Hello? I think we have a bad connection. Let me try calling you back later.”
For in-person encounters, start tapping your phone frantically. “That’s so weird, I keep getting these notifications. Give me just one second to handle this emergency.” Then proceed to have an animated conversation with your voicemail system.
The beauty of this approach is that technology actually does fail regularly, making your excuse completely believable. Plus, by the time you “reconnect,” the conversation has often moved on to other topics.
5. The Sudden Amnesia Attack
Develop convenient memory problems the moment someone asks about something you’d rather not discuss. This technique works best when combined with genuine-sounding confusion.
Example scenario: “What happened to the leftover pizza from yesterday?” Your response: “Pizza? What pizza? Are you sure there was pizza? I honestly have no memory of any pizza. Did I hit my head recently?”
Start questioning your own reality out loud. “This is really bothering me now. When did we have pizza? Who ordered it? I feel like I’m losing my mind.” Soon, everyone will be more concerned about your apparent cognitive issues than their missing food.
Take this further by asking detailed questions about the event you’re pretending to forget. “What kind of pizza was it? Who was there? What did we watch on TV?” Your thorough confusion will seem more authentic than a simple “I don’t know.”
6. The Interpretive Dance Response
Instead of answering with words, respond through movement. This technique is particularly effective because most people are so stunned by the unexpected performance that they forget what they asked.
Example scenario: “Why is your desk such a mess?” Your response: Begin an elaborate interpretive dance representing the chaos of modern life, the crushing weight of responsibilities, and the beautiful disorder of creativity.
Start with slow, overwhelmed movements, gradually building to frantic gestures that represent your busy schedule. End with a graceful pose that suggests you’ve found peace within the chaos. When they stare at you in bewilderment, simply bow and return to your work.
This method works because it’s so unexpected that people don’t know how to respond. They’re left wondering if they should applaud, call for medical help, or just pretend it never happened.
7. The Compliment Redirect
Immediately shower the person with unexpected praise, completely changing the emotional tone of the conversation. This technique disarms them and makes pursuing their original question seem petty.
Example scenario: “Did you remember to submit those reports?” Your response: “You know what? You have the most incredible organizational skills. Seriously, the way you keep track of everything is just amazing. I wish I had your natural ability to stay on top of details. Have you always been this organized?”
Keep the compliments flowing until they’re so flattered and distracted that they either forget their question or feel too good about themselves to press the issue. People rarely continue interrogating someone who’s actively boosting their ego.
The key is to make the compliments specific and believable. Generic praise sounds fake, but detailed observations about their skills or appearance will catch them off guard and feel genuine.
8. The Emergency Bathroom Break
Sometimes the most effective escape is a tactical retreat. Announce an urgent biological need that cannot be delayed, then disappear until the heat dies down.
Example scenario: “We need to talk about your performance review.” Your response: “Oh no, I’m so sorry, but I need to use the restroom right now. It’s urgent. Can we pick this up in just a few minutes?”
The beauty of this technique is that no one can argue with basic human needs. When you return, there’s a good chance the conversation will have moved on, or at least the intensity will have decreased. If they try to restart the discussion, you can claim you’ve forgotten where you left off.
For maximum effectiveness, add some urgency to your voice and maybe a slight grimace. No one wants details about your digestive situation, so they’ll usually wave you away quickly.
9. The Foreign Language Confusion
Suddenly develop language barriers or claim you only understand the question in a different language. This works even if everyone knows you speak the same language fluently.
Example scenario: “Can you explain why you missed the deadline?” Your response: “¿Qué? No entiendo. Deadline? What is this ‘deadline’ you speak of? In my country, we only have ‘suggestions’ and ‘eventually.’ This word is very foreign to me.”
Maintain your confusion even if they try to explain. Keep asking for translations of simple words and looking genuinely puzzled. Eventually, they’ll either give up or get so caught up in the cultural exchange that they forget their original question.
This technique works best when delivered with a completely straight face. The more committed you are to the bit, the more likely they are to either laugh or walk away in frustration.
10. The Celebrity Name-Drop Distraction
Casually mention meeting or seeing a celebrity, then elaborate with increasingly outrageous details until everyone is so fascinated by your story that they forget what they originally wanted to know.
Example scenario: “Where were you during the staff meeting?” Your response: “Oh, that reminds me! I ran into Ryan Reynolds at the coffee shop this morning. Well, I say ‘ran into,’ but I accidentally spilled my latte on his shoes. He was surprisingly understanding about it.”
Keep building the story with more ridiculous details. “Then Blake Lively showed up, and they invited me to their table. We ended up discussing my ideas for improving their next movie. Ryan said I should call his agent.” By now, everyone is either laughing or hanging on every word.
The key is to start with something mildly believable, then gradually escalate to obvious fiction. This way, people know you’re joking but are entertained enough to play along.
11. The Philosophical Deep Dive
Turn every question into an opportunity to explore the fundamental nature of existence, truth, and human consciousness. This technique works because people rarely expect their simple questions to trigger existential discussions.
Example scenario: “Why didn’t you clean the kitchen?” Your response: “That raises fascinating questions about responsibility and perception. What does it mean to be ‘clean’ in a universe where entropy constantly increases? Are we fighting a losing battle against the natural order, or is messiness simply another form of beauty?”
Continue exploring the philosophical implications until they’re either deeply engaged in the discussion or so overwhelmed that they abandon their original question. Reference famous philosophers or make up your theories about the meaning of household chores.
This method is particularly effective with people who consider themselves intellectuals, as they’ll often feel compelled to engage with your “profound” observations rather than pursue their mundane concerns.
12. The Reverse Psychology Confession
Admit to something completely unrelated and much more dramatic than whatever they’re asking about. This technique works by overwhelming them with unexpected information.
Example scenario: “Did you eat my sandwich?” Your response: “You know what? I’m glad you asked. I’ve been keeping something from everyone, and it’s time I came clean. I’ve been secretly learning to juggle. There, I said it. I know it’s shocking, but I couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.”
Proceed to demonstrate your juggling skills or explain your secret passion in great detail. By the time you finish your “confession,” they’ll be so confused about why you thought juggling was a guilty secret that they’ll forget about their missing lunch.
The key is to sound genuinely relieved to be sharing this “burden” while maintaining complete seriousness about your ridiculous revelation.
13. The Question Answering Service
Pretend to be an automated system and respond only to properly formatted requests with specific keywords and reference numbers.
Example scenario: “Can you tell me about the budget meeting?” Your response: “Thank you for contacting the Information Request Department. Your query has been received, but cannot be processed due to insufficient parameters. Please resubmit your request with the following format: ‘BUDGET INQUIRY – REFERENCE NUMBER – CLEARANCE LEVEL – SPECIFIC QUESTION.’ Your estimated wait time is currently four to six business days.”
Continue responding only in automated messages, even if they try to interrupt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your request. Press 1 for general inquiries, press 2 for urgent matters, or press 3 to speak with a supervisor who is currently unavailable.”
This technique is particularly effective because it’s so absurd that people often give up out of sheer frustration or amusement.
14. The Time Travel Explanation
Claim that you’re from the future or past, and their question doesn’t apply to your temporal situation. This requires commitment to the character,r but can be incredibly effective.
Example scenario: “Why haven’t you returned my calls?” Your response: “Calls? Oh, you must be thinking of Future Me. I’m actually from three days ago, before you made those calls. From my perspective, you haven’t called yet. Time travel is so confusing – I never know which version of events people are referring to.”
Elaborate on the complications of temporal displacement and how it affects your ability to respond to linear time-based expectations. “Past Me probably ignored your calls because he knew I would handle them when I arrived in this timeline.”
The absurdity of this excuse often leaves people speechless while simultaneously entertaining them enough that they don’t mind the non-answer.
15. The Collaborative Investigation
Turn the question back on the group and make everyone a detective trying to solve the mystery together. This technique transforms accountability into a team-building exercise.
Example scenario: “Who broke the coffee machine?” Your response: “This is fascinating! A real mystery. Let’s examine the evidence together. When was it last working? Who was the last person to use it? What clues do we have? Everyone, gather around – we need to analyze the crime scene.”
Start assigning roles: “Sarah, you check for fingerprints. Mike, examine the power cord. I’ll look for witnesses.” Treat it like a serious investigation while asking increasingly ridiculous questions about the coffee machine’s emotional state and possible motives.
By turning the situation into a group activity, you’ve shifted from being the suspect to being the lead investigator, effectively removing yourself from suspicion while entertaining everyone involved.
Wrapping Up
These deflection techniques work because they catch people off guard and often provide enough entertainment value that the original question becomes secondary. The best approach is to match your method to your audience and situation – save the interpretive dance for casual settings and stick to philosophical discussions during formal meetings.
The real magic happens when you combine these techniques naturally. Start with a counter-question, throw in some selective hearing, and finish with a compliment redirect. Before long, you’ll be known as the person who always has interesting conversations, even if you never actually answer the original question.
Practice these methods until they feel natural, and you’ll always have an escape route when conversations venture into uncomfortable territory. Just be prepared for people to start asking questions specifically to see which creative avoidance technique you’ll use next.