So your coworker is leaving. Big deal. Actually, it is kind of a big deal! Someone who sat next to you for years, stole your lunch from the office fridge, and laughed at your bad jokes is moving on to bigger and better things. What do you write in their card that isn’t boring?
We’ve all been there. You get passed the office goodbye card and suddenly your mind goes blank. You can’t just write “Good luck!” like everyone else. You need something that will make them laugh, make them cry (from laughing), or at least make them think, “Wow, that person was way funnier than I gave them credit for.”
Don’t worry—I’ve got your back with 30 hilarious messages that will make you the star of the goodbye card. Keep reading to find the perfect funny goodbye that fits your soon-to-be-ex coworker.
Funny Things to Write on Leaving Cards
Here are 30 funny messages that will make the card recipient laugh while they pack up their desk plants.
1. Thanks for Always Making Me Look Good
Your messy desk and late arrivals made the rest of us shine by comparison. But for real, the office won’t be the same without your special brand of chaos bringing us all together.
Bosses might not admit it, but every office needs that one person who sets the bar just low enough for everyone else. You took that job seriously, and we salute you for your service.
2. Congratulations on Your Escape!
They said nobody gets out of this place alive, but you proved them wrong! We’re all watching the security footage to figure out how you did it.
This works great for any workplace with a sense of humor about itself. Just make sure your departing friend isn’t leaving because they hated the job, or this might hit too close to home!
3. We’re Only Signing This Card So We Can Get Cake
Let’s be honest about our priorities here. We’ll miss you, but we’ll miss the excuse for office treats even more. Thanks for giving us a reason to eat sugar at 2 PM.
Perfect for food-loving offices where treats appear whenever someone leaves. The card recipient will know it comes from a place of cake-loving truth, not actual meanness.
4. Now Who’s Going to Fix the Printer?
Thanks for being the only one who knew how to make the office equipment work. We’ve started a betting pool on how long it’ll take for everything to break now that you’re gone.
This is great for that office tech wizard who always saved everyone when the copier jammed or the Wi-Fi stopped working. They’ll feel extra special knowing their skills were noticed and will be missed.
5. The Office Plants Will Miss You
I can’t speak for everyone else, but the ficus in the corner is already looking droopy at the news of your departure. Who will water it now?
Use this for the office plant parent who kept all the greenery alive. Bonus points if you get everyone to sign the card “from” different office plants with little leaf drawings.
6. We Took a Vote and Decided Your Replacement Can’t Sit at Your Desk
It’s haunted now. By your ghost. The ghost that will return if we don’t save your swivel chair and keep your favorite mug exactly where you left it.
This works best for someone with a distinct desk area or who was particularly attached to their workspace. It shows you noticed those little quirks that made their corner of the office special.
7. I’ll Miss Having Someone to Hide From the Boss With
Our strategic bathroom breaks and extended “client calls” that were actually us hiding in the stairwell will go down in company history. Who will be my partner in crime now?
Perfect for your work buddy who helped you survive the boring days and tough projects. You can add a specific funny memory for extra laughs.
8. Thanks for Always Laughing at My Jokes (Even the Bad Ones)
Your fake laugh was almost convincing. Almost. But I still appreciate the effort you put into pretending I was funny for all these years.
This works great for the kind coworker who was always supportive, or between good friends who can tease each other. It acknowledges their kindness while still being silly.
9. The Snack Thief Can Finally Be Revealed
Now that you’re leaving, I can finally tell everyone it was YOU who kept eating all the good stuff from the break room. Your secret is safe with just… everyone who reads this card.
Use this if there was an actual office mystery about missing snacks (even if the person wasn’t the culprit). It plays into the office inside joke while giving them a laugh.
10. We’re Not Crying, There’s Just Something in Our Eye (It’s Tears)
Fine, we admit it. We’ll miss your bad jokes, your Monday morning stories, and even that weird smell you called “lunch.” The office won’t be the same without you.
This mixes humor with just a touch of real sentiment. It works for almost anyone, but especially for a coworker who was truly well-liked and brought positive energy to the workplace.
11. Your Empty Chair Will Make a Great Place to Put My Coat
Just kidding! Your chair will sit empty for at least two days before someone claims it. We might even put a little plaque on it… before we fight over who gets your desk.
This works best in offices where space is tight and good chairs are in short supply. The departing person will chuckle knowing the truth about how quickly their spot will be claimed.
12. We Already Changed the Wi-Fi Password
Nothing personal. Company policy. OK fine, we’re just bitter you’re leaving us. Don’t try logging in next week when you get nostalgic.
This is perfect for tech-savvy coworkers or those who always seemed to know all the office secrets. It’s a funny way of saying “no takesy-backsies” on their decision to leave.
13. Taking Bets on How Long Until You Text “I Miss You Guys”
I’ve got $5 on three days. The boss says you’ll hold out for a week. Prove me right and I’ll split my winnings with you.
Use this with someone who’s been with the company a while and has built strong friendships. It playfully acknowledges that workplace bonds don’t just end when someone gets a new job.
14. Your New Coworkers Have No Idea What They’re In For
Should we warn them about your horrible coffee breath in the morning? Your weird lunch habits? Your ability to talk about your cat for three hours straight? Nah, let them find out on their own.
This is particularly funny for someone with quirky habits that everyone knew about. Just make sure to pick something that’s actually endearing rather than truly annoying.
15. We Got You This Card Because It Was Cheaper Than a Gift
Budget cuts, you know how it is. Plus we figured the real gift was getting away from us, so why spend the money?
This works well in offices with a good sense of humor about being frugal or where inside jokes about the budget are common. It’s even funnier if there actually is a gift being given separately.
16. Now I Have to Find a New Work Spouse
Applications are currently being accepted. Big shoes to fill. Must be willing to listen to my problems and share snacks. Please help spread the word.
Perfect for close work friends who supported each other through daily ups and downs. It acknowledges that special bond while keeping things light and funny.
17. Your Desk Drawer Secrets Are Safe With Us
We won’t tell anyone about the emergency candy stash, the extra phone charger, or the small family of mice you were raising in there. Your secrets die with us.
Use this for the coworker with the mysteriously full desk or the one who always seemed to have everything anyone needed tucked away somewhere. We all know that person!
18. We Checked and Yes, You Do Have to Return Your Stapler
We know you had your eye on office supplies for your great escape. Security will be checking your bags on the way out. (But we won’t tell if you don’t.)
This is a nod to the classic office movie trope of taking the stapler. It works for any workplace with a sense of humor about company property and the little “perks” people sometimes help themselves to.
19. Your Outlook Calendar Finally Gets to Rest
After years of back-to-back meetings, your poor calendar can finally breathe. It sends its thanks and hopes your new job involves fewer video calls.
Great for that always-busy coworker whose calendar looked like a game of Tetris. They’ll appreciate the acknowledgment of their packed schedule and probably laugh because it’s true.
20. Now Who Will Eat the Weird Food in the Office Fridge?
Your brave consumption of mystery leftovers kept our fridge clean and our digestive systems safe. We may need to hire a professional food disposal person to replace you.
This works for the office garbage disposal—that person who never let good food go to waste and helped keep the communal fridge from becoming a science experiment.
21. The Office Gossip Chain Just Lost Its Best Link
Who will tell us what’s really going on now? We’re going to be so out of the loop without your exceptional eavesdropping skills and ability to read between the lines of company emails.
Use this for the coworker who always knew what was happening before anyone else. Just make sure they took pride in this role rather than being offended by it!
22. We Drew Straws to See Who Has to Do Your Job Now
Bad news: it’s me. Good news: I’ll call you with questions every day so we can still chat. You’re not really leaving if I keep dragging you back in, right?
This is perfect for someone with a specialized role or unique skills that will be hard to replace. It’s a funny acknowledgment of their value while promising continued connection.
23. Your Empty Parking Spot Will Be Filled, But Not Your Place in Our Hearts
Just kidding! Both will be filled by next Monday. But we’ll think of you whenever someone parks crooked in your old spot.
This works especially well if the person had a coveted parking spot that others had their eye on. It plays on the false sentimentality before admitting the truth in a funny way.
24. We Were Going to Throw You a Party, But You Know How We Feel About Effort
So instead, please accept this card with minimal wording and maximum sentiment. We care just enough to sign our names, and that’s how you know it’s real.
Use this for offices with a sarcastic sense of humor or where the minimum viable celebration is the norm. The joke is funnier if there actually is a party planned.
25. Your Job Title Was Too Long to Fit on the Card
Whatever it was you did here, we’re sure you did it… adequately. At the very least, you showed up most days, and that counts for something!
This is great for someone with a complicated job title or role that was hard for others to explain. It pokes fun at corporate job titles while still being good-natured.
26. The Office Coffee Machine Sends Its Regards
It will miss your daily complaints about how bad the coffee is, even as you drank five cups a day. Your mug will remain unwashed in the sink as a memorial.
Perfect for the office coffee addict who everyone associated with their signature mug or beverage habits. We all know (or are) that person who keeps the coffee industry in business.
27. The HR Department Is Finally Free From Your Paperwork
They asked us to express their sincere relief that they won’t have to process any more of your time-off requests, expense reports, or complaints about the temperature. They may throw their own party.
This works best if the person had a funny (not serious) reputation for keeping HR busy with requests or forms. It’s especially good if they had a friendly relationship with the HR team.
28. Your Meeting Catchphrases Will Live On Forever
We’ve started a bingo card of your famous sayings like “Let’s circle back” and “At the end of the day.” We’ll play it in meetings and think of you when someone wins.
Use this for the coworker who had distinctive phrases or meeting habits that everyone recognized. Include a few real examples of their catchphrases for maximum laughs.
29. We’re Going to Need Those TPS Reports Before You Go
Just kidding! But your new office doesn’t know about your hatred of paperwork yet. Should we warn them, or let them find out the hard way?
This references classic office movie tropes while poking fun at some small work habit or preference the person was known for. It works best with a specific detail about their work style.
30. This Card Is Valid for One Free Lunch If You Ever Visit
Fine print: lunch is defined as whatever is left in the break room fridge on the day of your visit. Expired yogurt and mystery containers included. No cash value.
End your list with this warm but still funny invitation to stay in touch. It works for anyone, with the humor coming from the “fine print” that pokes fun at the typical office fridge situation.
Wrapping Up
Writing a funny message in a leaving card shows you care enough to put in a bit more effort than a basic “good luck.” Pick something that matches your relationship with the leaver—inside jokes work best when they’re actually inside jokes!
Make sure your humor fits the person. If they always laughed at your jokes about their coffee addiction, go with that. If they’d roll their eyes at your attempt at humor, maybe stick with something more sincere. Either way, they’ll appreciate that you tried to make their exit just a little bit funnier.