Mail is boring. So boring. Bills, ads, and more bills. But what if you could make someone smile just by looking at the envelope? What if your mail could be the happy surprise in a sea of boring paper? That’s right – you can make mail fun again!
I’ve been drawing funny things on envelopes for years. My friends wait for my cards. The mail carriers chuckle. Even that grumpy neighbor who never waves back sometimes cracks a smile. Now you can join the envelope fun club too!
Funny Things to Write on Envelopes
Want to make someone’s day better? Try these funny sayings and drawings on your next envelope. They work for birthday cards, thank you notes, or just because!
1. “Open if you like fun”
This simple line works magic. It makes people curious right away. Who doesn’t like fun?
Most folks can’t help but open an envelope with this written on it. It’s perfect for any happy mail you send, like party invites or good news. The best part? It takes two seconds to write!
2. “Warning: Contains awesome”
Let people know something great is inside! This works well for gifts or cards with money.
Your friends will smile before they even open it. For extra laughs, add a tiny drawing of a warning sign next to it. This works best when sending birthday cards or good news to close friends who get your sense of humor.
3. “Do not bend, fold, or use as a hat”
This silly warning makes no sense – that’s why it’s funny! No one would wear an envelope as a hat anyway.
The mail person will get a kick out of this one. It works great for regular cards that don’t need any special care. The sillier the better! You could even add a tiny drawing of someone wearing an envelope hat.
4. “Time-sensitive mail: Open before you get old”
Everyone hates those fake “urgent” letters that turn out to be ads. This makes fun of those in a nice way.
Your friend will laugh at this joke about getting old. It’s great for any card that isn’t tied to a date. You could send this to anyone who likes dad jokes or silly humor.
5. “Free sample inside: Air from my house”
This joke works because it’s so dumb. Of course there’s air in the envelope! Where else would it come from?
Write this on cards going to friends with a good sense of humor. It’s best for casual notes or just-because cards. The sillier and more useless the “free sample” is, the funnier this becomes.
6. “Top secret information: Your eyes only”
Make a regular card feel like spy stuff! This works for any normal mail.
Kids especially love this one. Add a fingerprint or a “classified” stamp to make it look even more official. This works great for birthday cards, where the “secret” is just a normal happy birthday message.
7. “Caution: May contain bad jokes”
This is perfect if your card has jokes inside. It’s like a fair warning label!
Friends who love your sense of humor will look forward to what’s inside. This works best when you actually put some jokes in the card. For extra points, make the jokes inside really, really bad!
8. “Delivery report: One smile enclosed”
This sweet message tells the person something nice is inside. It’s both funny and kind.
Use this for thank you cards or notes to someone who might be feeling down. It works well because it tells the truth – your card probably will make them smile! You can add a tiny smiley face drawing too.
9. “Handle with care: Feelings inside”
This plays with the normal “handle with care” you see on packages. But instead of something breakable, it’s feelings!
This works great for cards where you say something nice or important. It’s perfect for thank you notes or telling someone you miss them. The mix of silly and sweet makes this one special.
10. “Rain, snow, or zombie attack – your mail got here!”
This is a funny twist on the mail carrier’s motto. Everyone knows mail comes even in bad weather.
But zombies? That’s new! This works well for any card, but especially if it’s been a while since you wrote to someone. You could add a tiny drawing of a zombie mail carrier for extra laughs.
11. “Peek inside if you’re awesome”
Who can resist being called awesome? This message makes the person feel good before they even open the card.
It’s perfect for friends who need a boost or kids who love feeling special. The best part is how simple it is – just a few words make someone’s day better! Add a star or smiley face to make it pop.
12. “This envelope contains 0% vegetables”
Kids hate vegetables. Adults often do too! This silly message works because it states the obvious in a funny way.
Of course there are no vegetables in a card! This works best for kids or picky eaters you know. It’s great for birthday cards or any fun mail going to someone who would rather eat candy than broccoli.
13. “Delivery by extremely slow snail”
Poke fun at how slow regular mail can be! This is called “snail mail” for a reason.
This joke works best if your card is late or if you’re writing to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Draw a tiny snail with a mail bag for extra cute points. This makes being late seem planned rather than forgetful!
14. “Certified happiness delivery”
Make your card sound official and important! This works for any happy mail you send.
Everyone loves getting happiness in the mail. This message works because it tells the truth – you’re trying to make someone happy with your card! Add an official-looking stamp or seal drawing to make it look more real.
15. “Open for instant day improvement”
This promise is both funny and true. A nice card really can make someone’s day better!
Use this for any card where you say nice things or include good news. It’s perfect for thank you cards or notes to someone having a rough time. You’re not lying – your card probably will improve their day!
16. “Caution: Excessive awesomeness inside”
Warning your friend about how great your card is makes both of you feel good. It’s silly but sweet.
This works for birthday cards, good news, or pictures of good times you’ve had together. For extra fun, add little warning symbols around the words. The sillier and more over-the-top, the better!
17. “Smile practice enclosed”
Tell your friend that your card is going to make them smile. It’s a cute way to say something nice is inside.
This works well for funny cards or photos that will make them happy. It’s also great for kids since it’s simple and clear. You could add a tiny mouth drawing with the corners turned up for extra cuteness.
18. “Congratulations on receiving this amazing envelope”
Make the envelope itself seem like a prize! This works because it’s so silly.
The person gets to feel special just for checking their mail. This works best for friends who like dry humor or silly jokes. You could add a tiny trophy or ribbon drawing to make it look like an award.
19. “Do not open until you’re ready to be awesome”
This makes opening your card feel like an important event. Who doesn’t want to be awesome?
This works for any positive mail, especially encouragement cards or good news. It’s also perfect for kids who love feeling like they’re part of something special. The suspense makes opening the card more fun!
20. “Contains 100% recycled happiness”
This plays with the “recycled” labels we see on products. But happiness isn’t something you can recycle!
The joke works because it’s silly but also kind of true – you’re sending good feelings from you to them. This is perfect for thank you cards or notes to old friends. It’s both funny and sweet at the same time.
21. “Open in case of boring day”
This makes your card feel like an emergency kit for boredom. It’s both funny and thoughtful.
Send this on cards to friends who might need cheering up or kids stuck at home. It works well because it gives your card a purpose – to fight boredom! You could add a tiny “break glass in case of emergency” drawing around it.
22. “No bill inside – promise!”
Everyone hates getting bills in the mail. This joke works because it tells them good news right away.
This is perfect for any fun mail, but especially if you’re sending something nice like a gift card or money. Your friend will be happy before they even open it! You could add a tiny dollar sign with an X through it.
23. “The mail carrier ran all the way here”
This silly claim makes your card seem super important. Of course the mail carrier didn’t really run!
This works best for very normal, not-important cards. The joke is in how serious it sounds for regular mail. You could add a tiny drawing of a tired mail carrier wiping their forehead for extra laughs.
24. “Open slowly – good news might escape”
This funny warning makes no sense – good news can’t escape! That’s why it makes people smile.
Use this for cards with happy messages or good news inside. It works because it builds excitement about what’s in the envelope. For added fun, draw little good news “particles” trying to squeeze out of the envelope.
25. “Handle with jazz hands”
Everyone knows “handle with care,” but “handle with jazz hands” is silly and makes no sense!
This works best for birthday cards or party invites. For extra fun, draw little hands with fingers spread out on each side of the message. This works because it’s a funny twist on a phrase everyone knows.
26. “Contains at least 3 smiles”
Make a funny promise about what’s in your card. It sounds like a food label, but for happiness!
This works for any card where you’ve included jokes or funny pictures. It’s great because it makes the person look forward to finding all the smiles you promised. You could even number the funny bits inside to match your claim.
27. “Inspected by unicorns for quality”
Unicorns aren’t real, and they definitely don’t check mail! That’s what makes this so funny.
This works for any card, but especially ones for kids or people who like magical things. You could add a tiny unicorn stamp or hoofprint next to it. The sillier and more official it looks, the funnier it is!
28. “Not fancy, but sent with love”
This honest message is both funny and sweet. It admits your card might be simple, but the feelings are real.
This works well for homemade cards or simple notes. It lowers expectations while raising the emotional value. It’s perfect for when you want to send something but don’t have a fancy card on hand.
29. “Open for a free virtual high-five”
Offer something silly and impossible – a high-five through the mail! It’s funny because it can’t happen.
Inside, you can draw a hand or write “HIGH FIVE!” in big letters. This works best for congratulations cards or good news. It’s simple but makes people smile because of how impossible it is.
30. “Certified not boring”
Make your envelope sound official while promising something everyone wants – not to be bored!
This works for any fun card or letter, especially if you’re sending something interesting like photos or stories. You could add an official-looking seal or stamp drawing next to it for extra effect. Everyone wants mail that’s not boring!
Wrapping Up
Making mail fun doesn’t take much work. A few funny words on an envelope can turn a normal Tuesday into a day someone remembers. Your silly message might be the best thing that happens in their day!
So grab a pen and try one of these ideas next time you send a card. The mail carrier might look twice, your friend will definitely smile, and you’ll feel good knowing you spread some joy. After all, who says mail has to be boring?