Did you know that writing on eggs is a real thing? Yes, it’s true! People all over the world mark their eggs with words, jokes, and funny sayings. Maybe you want to make your family laugh at breakfast. Maybe you need to keep track of which eggs are boiled. Or maybe you just think blank eggs are boring. No matter your reason, egg writing is an easy way to add fun to your day.
I’ve been writing on eggs for years. My kids crack up (pun very much meant) at breakfast when they find silly messages waiting for them. My partner rolls his eyes but secretly loves it too. Now I’m sharing my top 30 funny things to write on eggs so you can join the egg-writing club.
Funny Things to Write on Eggs
Want to make people smile with just a pen and an egg? These ideas range from silly puns to smart jokes. Pick your favorites and get writing!
1. “Egg-scuse Me!”
This play on “excuse me” works great on eggs that might get bumped in the fridge. It’s like your egg is being polite when someone moves it around. The phrase works best on eggs you keep in door shelves where they might get jostled.
Your kids will giggle every time they open the fridge. Even better, write it on hard-boiled eggs for lunch boxes to give your child a surprise laugh at school.
2. “Hard-Boiled Detective”
Mark your boiled eggs with this joke that plays on both the egg’s state and old crime novels. This helps you tell which eggs are cooked and which are raw. Plus it adds a bit of mystery to your breakfast.
This works great with a little face drawn on the egg, complete with a tiny hat and maybe a mustache. For extra laughs, put these eggs in a small “crime scene” in your fridge with tape marking the area.
3. “I’m Feeling Scrambled Today”
This funny line speaks to how we all feel some mornings – mixed up and not quite together. It’s perfect for eggs you plan to scramble. The joke hits just right when you’re about to crack the egg into the pan.
Write this on eggs on Monday mornings for best effect. The saying matches how most people feel at the start of the week when they’re not ready to face the day.
4. “Yolk’s On You!”
This classic pun plays on the phrase “joke’s on you” but with an eggy twist. It works great as a surprise for anyone who picks up the egg. The phrase makes people smile when they get the wordplay.
Try writing half the message on one side of the egg and the punchline on the other. This creates a mini-joke that unfolds as the person turns the egg in their hand.
5. “Egg-cellent Choice”
Compliment the person who picks this egg with a pun on the word “excellent.” It makes choosing an egg feel like a big win. This message works best on the best-looking egg in the carton.
Your family will start checking all the eggs to find the “best” one with this message. Make one egg look a bit fancy with the message plus a small crown or star to mark it as special.
6. “I’ll Be Bach”
For music lovers, this pun combining the famous composer with “I’ll be back” hits all the right notes. Draw a tiny music staff next to it for extra effect. This joke works best with folks who know a bit about classical music.
The joke gets even better if you draw a tiny wig on the egg like Bach wore. Music teachers especially love finding these eggs in their lunch or breakfast plate.
7. “Help! I’m Trapped in an Egg!”
This classic joke makes it seem like a tiny person is stuck inside your egg. The line has been around for ages but still makes people laugh. It plays on old jokes about being trapped in fortune cookie factories.
For best results, write this in very tiny letters, as if someone small inside the egg wrote it. Some people even add tiny handprints or “scratch marks” on the shell for a funnier effect.
8. “Sunny Side Up!”
This cheerful message works great for morning people. It’s both a cooking instruction and a happy life outlook. The double meaning makes it perfect for breakfast eggs.
Write this phrase with a small sun drawing for extra cheer. It sets a happy tone for the day and works great on eggs set aside for weekend breakfasts when everyone has time to enjoy the morning.
9. “Don’t Count Me Yet”
This funny line plays on “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” saying. It works as both egg humor and life advice. The message is best used on eggs you’re saving for baking or a special recipe.
You can add to the joke by writing the date you bought the eggs, making it seem like the egg is counting its days. This gets a laugh while also helping you track freshness.
10. “Egg-xistential Crisis”
For the deep thinkers at your breakfast table, this philosophical egg joke hits just right. It suggests your egg is wondering about its purpose in life. The joke works best on eggs set apart from others.
Draw a thought bubble or tiny question marks around the phrase. For extra laughs, place this egg looking into a small mirror or gazing at chicken pictures on your fridge.
11. “Shell-fish Reasons”
This clever pun works on the word “selfish” but gives it an egg twist. It suggests the egg is keeping secrets about why it’s in your fridge. The joke works best when written on eggs that look a bit different from the rest.
Try placing this egg slightly apart from others in the carton, as if it’s being “shellfish” about its space too. The joke gets better when the egg really does look unique in some way.
12. “Eggs-it Strategy”
This business-world play on “exit strategy” suggests your egg is planning its great escape. It’s funny to think of eggs plotting to leave the fridge. Works best on eggs placed near the front of the shelf where escape seems possible.
For extra laughs, draw tiny maps or escape route plans on the egg. Some people even put these eggs near the edge of a shelf as if they’re ready to make a break for it.
13. “Egg-nore Me”
This pun on “ignore me” works well for eggs you don’t want used yet. Maybe you’re saving them for a recipe or they’re not quite fresh enough for eating alone. The joke serves as both funny and useful.
Place these eggs at the back of your fridge or in a special section. The joke gets better if you actually do need people to ignore these eggs for some reason.
14. “Grade A Personality”
This message plays on egg grading systems while giving a compliment to whoever finds it. It’s like your egg is certified as having a great character. This works well on store-bought eggs that already have grades stamped on them.
Draw a gold star or check mark next to this phrase to make it look official. The joke works best on larger eggs that really do seem to have more “personality” than the others.
15. “I’m Walking On Eggshells”
This common saying takes on new meaning when written on an actual eggshell. It’s funny because it’s so literal. The phrase works best on eggs that have thin or already slightly cracked shells.
For extra effect, write this on eggs you hard-boil for peeling. When someone peels the egg, the message takes on yet another funny meaning as the “eggshells” are being removed.
16. “Feeling Fried”
This tired feeling we all get matches perfectly with one way eggs get cooked. It’s both a cooking method and a comment on being exhausted. The joke works best on eggs you plan to fry for breakfast.
Write this on eggs you set aside for busy mornings when everyone is rushing. The joke lands well when people are actually feeling tired and looking for a quick fried egg breakfast.
17. “Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be”
This funny saying suggests disappointment while using egg word play. It works on two levels and makes people smile. The joke lands best on smaller eggs or ones that don’t look perfect.
Try writing this on eggs that have small flaws or odd shapes. The joke gets better when the egg really doesn’t look as good as the others in the carton.
18. “Eggs-actly What You Need”
This supportive message with a pun offers encouragement with breakfast. It suggests the egg knows just what you need today. The phrase works best on eggs set aside for busy days when a protein boost helps.
Write this message with a small heart or smiley face. It adds a bit of care to a simple breakfast and can make someone feel looked after during hectic mornings.
19. “Getting Laid Was Tough”
This adult joke plays on chicken laying eggs with a human double meaning. It’s best for grown-up households as kids might not get the joke. Save this one for when only adults will see the eggs.
This joke works best on farm-fresh eggs that really did come from chickens in tough weather or conditions. The joke lands better when there’s some truth to the egg’s journey being difficult.
20. “Shell Yeah!”
This egg version of “hell yeah” brings enthusiasm to breakfast. It’s like your egg is super excited to be chosen. The saying works great on eggs you plan to use for special recipes or weekend brunches.
Write this with an exclamation point and maybe tiny party symbols. It adds a celebration feeling to cooking and works best on days when you’re making something special with your eggs.
21. “Egg McWho?”
This joke pokes fun at fast food breakfast sandwiches. It suggests your homemade egg is better than restaurant versions. The joke works best on eggs you plan to use in sandwiches.
Write this on eggs you set aside for weekend breakfast sandwiches. Add a tiny crown to suggest your egg is the king of breakfast compared to fast food options.
22. “Humpty Was My Cousin”
This reference to the famous Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme gives your egg a backstory and family history. It works as both a joke and a warning to be careful. Kids especially love this one.
Draw a tiny crown like Humpty wore in some versions of the story. The joke gets better if you place the egg somewhere high in the fridge where it might “fall” just like Humpty did.
23. “I Came First”
This plays on the age-old question: “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” It gives a definite answer from the egg’s point of view. The joke works on many levels for different ages.
Write this on the oldest egg in your carton for extra meaning. The joke lands well with anyone who enjoys classic philosophical puzzles but with a simple funny twist.
24. “Poach Me If You Can”
This play on the movie title “Catch Me If You Can” works great for eggs you plan to poach. It’s like a challenge from the egg to the cook. The joke lands best with people who enjoy cooking.
Write this on eggs you set aside specifically for poaching. The joke gets better if poaching eggs is something you find tricky – it’s like the egg is taunting you about the cooking challenge.
25. “I’m Having A Shell Of A Day”
This pun on “hell of a day” gives your egg a personality and story. It suggests your egg has been through some tough times before reaching your fridge. The joke works any day of the week.
For extra effect, write this on eggs that have small marks or imperfections. The joke lands better when the egg really does look like it might have had a rough journey to your home.
26. “My Whites Are Whiter Than Yours”
This laundry detergent play on words works as a boast from your egg about its quality. It’s funny to think of eggs competing with each other. The joke works best on eggs with very white shells.
For greatest effect, write this only on the whitest eggs in your carton. The joke gets better if you place these eggs next to brown eggs for contrast.
27. “Uneggspected Surprise Inside”
This pun promises something special when the egg is cracked open. Of course, it’s just a regular egg inside, which is part of the joke. This works great for kids who love surprises.
Write this on regular eggs, not ones with anything actually different about them. The humor comes from the buildup and then finding just a normal egg inside.
28. “Born To Be Wild”
This classic song title takes on new meaning when written on free-range eggs. It gives your egg a rebel personality. The joke works best on eggs from free-range or pastured chickens.
Draw tiny sunglasses or a motorcycle helmet on the egg for extra effect. The joke gets better when you know the eggs really did come from chickens allowed to roam freely.
29. “I’m Rolling With It”
This phrase works as both a movement joke (eggs roll) and a comment on going with the flow in life. It suggests your egg has a laid-back personality. The saying works great on eggs that are more round than oval.
For extra fun, place these eggs on a slight tilt in the fridge to look like they might actually roll. The joke lands best when the egg’s shape really does make it seem prone to rolling.
30. “Egg-spiration Date: Today!”
This play on “expiration date” creates urgency to use the egg. It’s both funny and useful as a reminder. The joke works best on eggs that really are getting close to their use-by date.
Add the actual date for both humor and practical value. This helps use up eggs before they go bad while adding a bit of fun to fridge organization.
Wrapping Up
Egg writing might seem silly, but it adds joy to everyday life. These little oval canvases let you share jokes, puns, and smiles with your family. Start with just one or two funny eggs in your fridge and watch how quickly people notice and look forward to finding the next one.
The best part? You need nothing but eggs and a pen. No special skills or art talent needed. Just pick your favorite saying, write it on, and wait for the laughs. Who knew such a small thing could crack so many smiles at breakfast time?