That white board in your kitchen, office, or classroom is just sitting there, blank and boring. What a waste! It’s like having a stage with no comedian. Every time someone walks by, that board could make them laugh, but instead it’s just showing off how white it is. Not anymore!
I’ve spent years watching people write boring stuff on dry erase boards. “Buy milk.” “Meeting at 3.” Yawn! Why not use that space to make people smile? Or better yet, to make them think you’re way funnier than you actually are? That’s what friends are for – to think we’re funnier than we really are.
Let’s turn that sad, empty board into a laugh factory with these 30 funny things to write that will make everyone who reads them either laugh, groan, or slowly back away from you. All three reactions count as wins in my book!
Funny Things to Write on Dry Erase Board
These ideas work in offices, dorms, classrooms, and even at home. Use them to brighten someone’s day or just to show off how clever you can be with a marker.
1. “I wrote something funny here, but someone erased it.”
This simple joke plays on expectations. People will look at your board expecting to see something written there, and when they see this instead, it catches them off guard. The joke works because it’s meta – it’s funny because it’s about the very act of writing on the board.
Most folks will smile at this one because it’s so simple yet clever. It works best in high-traffic areas where lots of people use the board, like shared office spaces or family kitchens. The beauty is its simplicity – no fancy words needed!
2. “Plot twist: This isn’t a dry erase board.”
This one gets people doing a double-take. Is it really not a dry erase board? Wait, but if it’s not, then… oh, it’s a joke! This little mind game makes people question reality for just a second, which is always good for a laugh.
Try this in places where people might be a bit sleepy or on autopilot, like Monday morning meetings or study sessions. The small jolt of “Wait, what?” wakes up brains and gets smiles going. Bonus points if you write it in permanent marker (just kidding, please don’t).
3. “Today’s WiFi Password: NiceAttemptHackers2024”
Everyone needs the WiFi password, right? This fake password prank gets people every time. Watching someone carefully type “NiceAttemptHackers2024” into their phone is pure gold, especially when they look confused after it doesn’t work.
Perfect for waiting rooms, coffee shops, or anywhere visitors might need internet access. You can change it weekly to keep the joke fresh. Just be ready to share the real password when they give you that “not amused” look after trying yours!
4. “Don’t read this. You rebel.”
Short and sweet, this one makes everyone feel like they’ve broken a tiny rule. And who doesn’t like feeling a little rebellious now and then? It’s like a little high-five to everyone who reads it.
The beauty of this joke is that it literally cannot fail. If someone reads it, they’ve fallen into your trap and completed the joke. It’s perfect for any setting and never gets old. Place it at eye level for maximum rebel-catching effectiveness.
5. “Free cookies! (Just kidding, but now you want cookies, don’t you?)”
This cruel but hilarious bait-and-switch plays with people’s love of free food. First they get excited, then disappointed, then they realize they’ve been pranked. The emotional roller coaster takes just seconds to ride.
Works best in office break rooms or places where food might reasonably be offered. The real power move? Actually bring cookies the next day. You’ll go from villain to hero faster than you can say “chocolate chip.”
6. “I’m not procrastinating. I’m just giving my future self a tighter deadline.”
This relatable joke hits home for almost everyone. We all put things off, but framing it as “helping your future self” adds that perfect twist of self-deception that makes it funny rather than sad.
This works great in workspaces or study areas where deadlines loom large. People will point at it, laugh nervously, then get back to work with a slightly guilty expression. Mission accomplished – you’ve made them laugh AND be productive!
7. “Today’s schedule: 1. Coffee 2. ??? 3. More coffee 4. Pretend to know what I’m doing”
This play on the classic “??? Profit” meme format brings a smile because it’s so honest about how many of us actually structure our days. The coffee bookends are relatable, and the admission of faking competence hits home for many.
Best used in workplaces or study spaces where people might be struggling with motivation. The shared acknowledgment that we’re all just making it up as we go provides comfort through humor. Change “coffee” to “energy drinks” for younger crowds.
8. “This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds… or whenever someone needs to use the board.”
Channel your inner Mission: Impossible with this dramatic declaration. It pokes fun at the temporary nature of dry erase boards while adding a dash of spy movie excitement to an otherwise boring surface.
This joke lands best in high-use areas where boards get erased frequently. The irony of claiming something written in erasable marker will “self-destruct” highlights the inherent impermanence in a way that’s subtly clever. Best delivered with dramatic handwriting.
9. “Warning: Looking at this board may cause excessive eye rolling, spontaneous laughter, or sudden urges to add your own jokes.”
This mock warning label approach is funny because it preemptively calls out exactly what’s happening. The reader is probably already rolling their eyes, and now they feel seen. The “side effects” list format is a comedy classic.
Use this one when you plan to keep the board joke-focused for a while. It acts as a perfect invitation for others to add their own humor. In offices or shared spaces, this can spark an ongoing joke board that builds community through shared laughter.
10. “Today’s motivational quote: ‘The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'”
This twist on a familiar saying delivers unexpected dark humor. It starts with the comforting format of a motivational quote, then swerves into a reminder that sometimes going first isn’t advantageous (poor first mouse!).
Perfect for morning meetings or any setting where tired motivational quotes are common. The unexpected turn catches people off guard in the best way. It also subtly suggests that strategic patience might sometimes beat rushed enthusiasm – actual wisdom disguised as humor!
11. “Fun fact: If you stare at this board long enough, your coworkers will think you’re thinking about work.”
This workplace hack disguised as a joke reveals a universal truth about office behavior. The humor comes from exposing a strategy many of us have secretly used to appear productive while our minds wander.
Best placed in busy office environments where performance theater is part of daily life. It creates a moment of recognition among coworkers – “I’ve done that!” – which builds camaraderie through shared workplace survival tactics. Works in classrooms too!
12. “Daily reminder: Pants are NOT optional for Zoom meetings.”
This pandemic-era joke still lands because it references the business-on-top, party-on-bottom reality of remote work that many experienced. The “daily reminder” format suggests this mistake has happened before and might happen again.
Great for home offices or hybrid workplaces where video calls remain common. The humor works because it acknowledges the bizarre new social norms we’ve created, highlighting the gap between professional appearances and work-from-home reality.
13. “Out of office. If urgent, panic accordingly.”
This twist on standard out-of-office messages cuts through typical corporate-speak with refreshing honesty. Instead of providing alternative contacts or promising to “respond upon return,” it acknowledges the emotionally truthful response to urgent matters.
Perfect for office doors or personal workspaces when you’re away. The beauty is in its brevity and the permission it gives others to feel what they’re already feeling. It shows you understand workplace stress while gently mocking the concept of “urgent” workplace matters.
14. “Breaking news: Person writing on this board is extremely good-looking and modest.”
This playful self-compliment works because it’s so obviously a joke. The contradiction between claiming to be good-looking and modest creates instant humor, and everyone knows exactly who wrote it, making it a form of signature humor.
Works best in personal spaces or areas where everyone knows who maintains the board. The transparent self-promotion is charming because it’s so blatant. For extra laughs, add a “Source: Trust me” citation at the bottom.
15. “Erase this message to instantly become the villain in someone’s story.”
This clever guilt trip creates a mini moral dilemma for anyone who needs to use the board. It plays with the reader’s reluctance to be cast as a “bad guy” while acknowledging the temporary nature of board messages.
Ideal for shared spaces where erasing others’ messages is sometimes necessary. The joke lies in making an ordinary, necessary action feel dramatically significant. It’s funny because it elevates a mundane office interaction to the level of epic storytelling.
16. “The board is a lie.”
Gaming fans will recognize this play on “The cake is a lie” from Portal, but even non-gamers can appreciate the existential humor. It creates a tiny paradox – if the board is a lie, then isn’t the message itself also a lie?
This short brain-twister works in any setting and appeals to both gamers and philosophy fans. The brevity makes it punch harder, leaving people wondering what exactly you meant. Sometimes the best board jokes are the ones that make people go “huh?” before they laugh.
17. “Due to budget cuts, this inspirational message has been reduced to this sentence.”
This meta-joke pokes fun at corporate cost-cutting and the endless inspirational messages that often decorate workplace boards. The format mimics official announcements while delivering absolutely no inspiration whatsoever.
Perfect for office settings, especially during times of actual budget discussions. The humor comes from the implied criticism of empty corporate motivational efforts. It’s funny because it replaces expected fluff with honest acknowledgment of workplace realities.
18. “Dear Future Me: Why didn’t you clean this board? You had ONE job.”
This time-traveling self-criticism creates a funny loop of blame. Present-you scolds future-you for something that present-you could easily do right now, highlighting our human tendency to push tasks forward and then blame ourselves later.
Works well in personal spaces or home settings where the same person usually maintains the board. The humor lies in the public admission of our procrastination tendencies and the absurdity of leaving notes to scold our future selves instead of just doing the task.
19. “Studies show that 83% of statistics on this board are made up.”
This self-referential statistics joke points out how easily we accept numbers that sound official. The precision of “83%” makes it sound legitimate at first glance, before the punchline reveals the game.
Great for office settings or classrooms where data gets discussed. The humor works on multiple levels – it’s both a joke about making up statistics and an actual made-up statistic itself. Meta-humor like this makes people feel smart for getting the joke.
20. “Today’s password is ‘password.’ Tomorrow’s password will be ‘tomorrow’s password.'”
This circular logic password joke creates a tiny puzzle for readers. The first part seems helpful, then the second part traps them in a loop of trying to figure out what tomorrow’s actual password might be.
Best for tech-friendly environments or places where security is discussed. The humor comes from both the terrible password suggestion and the impossible-to-resolve logic problem of the second sentence. It’s funny because it offers help while being completely unhelpful.
21. “Don’t erase this! It’s load-bearing.”
This absurd claim treats the dry erase writing as if it were a structural element of the building. The humor comes from applying physical construction concepts to something as insubstantial as board markings.
Perfect for any setting, especially architectural firms or construction companies where the terminology is common. People smile at the mental image of a building collapsing because someone erased a message. The more serious the environment, the funnier this joke becomes.
22. “Meetings: Because none of us is as inefficient as all of us together.”
This twist on teamwork platitudes says out loud what many think silently during endless meetings. The format mimics inspirational quotes while delivering a message that’s decidedly uninspirational about workplace collaboration.
Ideal for conference rooms or meeting spaces where people gather regularly. The humor works because it subverts expected corporate positivity with brutal honesty. Everyone who’s sat through a pointless meeting (so, everyone) will appreciate this truth bomb disguised as humor.
23. “I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I’m afraid I wouldn’t get a reaction.”
This classic science pun works especially well in educational settings or labs. The dual meaning of “reaction” creates a perfect chemistry-themed groaner that science fans love to hate.
Best for science classrooms or workplaces with technically minded folks. The beauty of this pun is that it works on multiple levels – as both a statement about audience reception and as a chemistry reference. Even those who groan will secretly appreciate the wordplay.
24. “If you’re reading this, congratulations! You still have eyesight.”
This absurdly obvious observation celebrates an everyday ability we take for granted. The congratulatory tone for something so basic creates instant humor through extreme understatement of accomplishment.
Works anywhere, but especially in places where actual achievements might be celebrated. The joke gently mocks participation trophies and empty congratulations by celebrating something virtually everyone reading it can do. It’s so silly it’s hard not to smile at.
25. “Plot twist: You’ve been starring in a reality show your whole life but the ratings are terrible.”
This Truman Show-esque observation hits a sweet spot between humor and existential crisis. It plays with our occasional feeling that we’re being watched while adding the deflating punchline about poor ratings.
Great for common areas where people pass by regularly. The joke lands because it combines mild paranoia with ego deflation in a way that feels both personal and universal. Everyone gets to briefly imagine themselves as the star of a show, then laugh at the reality check.
26. “For a good time, call…” and then write the number for local pizza delivery.
This bathroom wall graffiti parody takes an adult joke format and makes it unexpectedly wholesome. The misdirection from expected content to actual pizza creates surprise humor that works across age groups.
Perfect for casual settings where people will recognize the joke format. The humor comes from subverting expectations while also acknowledging a universal truth – calling for pizza delivery is indeed often “a good time.” Use an actual local pizza place for bonus points!
27. “Bob Ross once said this board makes a happy little accident look good.”
Invoking the beloved painter’s gentle positivity adds warmth to this compliment to your own mistakes. It celebrates imperfection while referencing a cultural icon known for his forgiving approach to creativity.
Works best in creative spaces or classrooms where perfectionism might be an issue. The joke gives permission to embrace mistakes while nodding to Bob’s calming influence. For extra points, add a tiny “happy tree” doodle in the corner of the board.
28. “If Plan A fails, don’t worry. The alphabet has 25 more letters. And if you run out of letters, there are always emojis.”
This escalating advice starts with common wisdom but takes an unexpected turn into modern communication. The structure builds from sensible to silly, creating a pattern that pays off with the emoji reference.
Great for workplaces or study spaces where problem-solving happens. The humor lies in the increasingly desperate solutions suggested, reflecting how projects often evolve in real life. It’s funny because it acknowledges both traditional wisdom and contemporary shortcuts.
29. “Dear Person Stealing My Lunch: I’ve been licking it first.”
This office revenge fantasy addresses a common workplace crime with an unexpected deterrent. The direct address format makes it feel like overhearing office drama, which is always entertaining for bystanders.
Perfect for break room or kitchen areas where food theft might occur. The humor works because it escalates a minor workplace issue to biological warfare levels. The implied pettiness is something everyone can relate to, even if they’d never actually do it.
30. “I’m not saying it was aliens… but it was aliens.”
This popular meme reference works because it’s recognizable yet absurd in most contexts. What exactly aliens are responsible for is left to the reader’s imagination, making it adaptable to any unexpected situation.
Works in any setting where unexplained events occur – missing supplies, strange noises, or temperature fluctuations. The joke format acknowledges a problem while providing the least helpful explanation possible. Adding a simple alien doodle makes it even better.
Wrapping Up
That blank dry erase board is practically begging you to fill it with something more exciting than “Meeting at 2pm.” These 30 ideas give you plenty of ways to make people smile as they walk by your kitchen, office, or classroom.
The best board jokes catch people by surprise, make them think for just a second, and then reward them with a laugh. Whether you go with clever wordplay, fake passwords, or just silly observations, you’ll brighten someone’s day with your marker mastery. Now go forth and spread some dry erase humor – the world needs more laughs one whiteboard at a time!