So there you are – sweaty palms, racing heart, and a blank page staring back at you. You’ve been asked to give a speech, and now you need to pick a topic that won’t make people fall asleep or check their phones every five seconds. Good news! Funny speeches are like pizza at a party – they make everything better and nobody is mad when they show up.
I’ve been writing funny stuff for years, and I can tell you that making people laugh is way easier than you think. The trick is picking the right topic – something that gets giggles before you even start talking. Think of your funny speech topic as the secret sauce that makes the whole meal tasty.
Funny Things to Write a Speech About
Want to be the hit of the next meeting, wedding, or class presentation? Pick one of these topics and watch as people actually pay attention instead of playing candy crush on their phones.
1. My First Day Using Technology as a Grandparent
Old people trying to use new gadgets is comedy gold. Picture your grandma trying to take a selfie but using the wrong camera and getting confused why she keeps seeing the ceiling. Or grandpa yelling at Alexa like she’s a real person who’s being rude.
Tech stuff that seems easy to you can be super tricky for older folks. This topic works great for school speeches or when you need to break the ice at work. Just be kind in your jokes – we’ll all be old someday too!
2. The Secret Life of My Pet
Pets do crazy stuff when we’re not looking. My cat probably has a secret club where they plan how to knock things off shelves in the most annoying way possible.
This topic is perfect for speeches at parties or casual get-togethers. You can make up funny stories about what your pet does all day, like checking their social media or having tiny dance parties. Even people who don’t have pets will laugh because animal jokes almost always work!
3. What I Would Do With a Million Dollars (But Only on Silly Things)
Money talks are usually boring, but not this one! Skip the smart stuff like investing or buying houses. Focus on the fun things like filling a pool with jello or buying matching outfits for you and your goldfish.
Everyone likes to think about having lots of money. The funnier and more absurd your ideas, the better this speech will be. This works great for kids’ speeches or adult parties where people need a good laugh.
4. Foods That Should Never Be Combined
Food is funny business! Talk about gross food combos like pickle ice cream or ketchup on cereal. Make fake recipes that would make any chef cry.
You can even bring small samples of weird food combos for people to try if you’re feeling brave. This topic is awesome for lunch meetings or any speech where food is already on everyone’s mind. Just don’t make people too sick with your gross ideas!
5. My Body’s Weirdest Noises
Bodies are funny machines that make all kinds of strange sounds. From tummy growls during quiet moments to sneezes that scare the cat, our bodies love to make noise at the worst times.
This topic works because everyone has had an embarrassing body noise moment. You can talk about that time your stomach made alien noises during a test or when you hiccupped through an entire movie. Just keep it clean for school speeches!
6. If Babies Could Talk
Babies see the world in a totally different way. What would they say if they could talk with grown-up words? Probably things like “Why do you make those weird faces at me?” or “Stop taking pictures of me while I’m trying to eat!”
This topic is great for family events or parent groups. You can act out what babies might say about their daily life. Parents will laugh extra hard because they know exactly how true your jokes are!
7. The Worst Haircut I Ever Had
Bad haircuts happen to everyone. That time you asked for “just a trim” and ended up looking like a newly-shaved sheep? Comedy gold!
Share your hair horror stories, or make some up if you’ve been lucky. Bring pictures if you’re brave! This topic works well at sleepovers, friend gatherings, or any casual speech. Everyone can relate to hair disasters.
8. My Plan For Surviving a Zombie Attack
Zombies may not be real (yet), but planning for them is super funny. Would you hide in a grocery store? Make weapons out of kitchen stuff? Train your dog to bark at anything that walks funny?
This silly topic lets you mix humor with some actually smart thinking. It works great for school speeches or any group that enjoys funny “what if” situations. Plus, who knows? Your tips might come in handy someday!
9. Things My Parents Say That Make No Sense
Parents say weird stuff all the time. “Because I said so” isn’t a real answer! And what does “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” even mean? Sounds pretty mad to me!
This speech topic works with any age group because everyone either has parents or is a parent. Just keep it respectful and focus on the funny sayings, not mean stuff. School speeches or family parties are perfect spots for this topic.
10. How to Pretend You’re Working When You’re Actually Goofing Off
We’ve all been there – looking busy while doing absolutely nothing productive. The art of looking busy takes skill! Talk about classic moves like carrying papers around, typing random words really fast, or having fake phone calls.
This topic is best for work parties or college events. Maybe skip this one for school speeches unless you want your teacher giving you the side-eye for the rest of the year!
11. Signs Your Neighbor Might Be an Alien
That neighbor who mows their lawn at midnight? Definitely an alien. The one who never takes out trash? Probably gets their energy from cosmic rays instead of food.
Make a funny list of “evidence” that points to alien neighbors. This topic works great for community events or neighborhood gatherings. Just make sure the neighbors you’re talking about aren’t actually in the room!
12. Instructions My Brain Ignores
Our brains are supposed to help us make good choices, but sometimes they take a day off. Like when you tell yourself “Don’t eat the whole pizza” but then you eat the whole pizza anyway.
This topic is super relatable because everyone’s brain sometimes goes rogue. It works for almost any audience because we all have moments when our brain seems to have its own plans. School, work, or social speeches all work with this funny idea.
13. Weird Things People Do in Elevators
Elevators turn normal people into awkward weirdos. Staring at the numbers, pretending to check phones, or the classic “elevator face” where everyone looks serious for no reason.
This topic is great for work speeches or city events where people use elevators a lot. You can act out the funny behaviors or make up new elevator rules that everyone secretly follows. Just keep the jokes clean and kind!
14. If I Could Talk to Animals for One Day
Talking to animals would be amazing but also probably disappointing. Your cat might just say “Feed me now, human slave” on repeat. Your dog would probably ask way too many questions about your bathroom habits.
This works great for kids’ speeches or any animal lovers’ group. You can create funny animal voices and personalities for each pet you’d talk to. Everyone loves animal jokes!
15. My Secret Superhero Identity
Everyone has thought about what superhero they’d be. Would your power be always finding matching socks? Or maybe you’d be “Captain Always Has Gum Man”?
Create a silly superhero version of yourself with useless or oddly specific powers. This topic works for school speeches, work ice-breakers, or any casual group. Bonus points if you wear part of your superhero costume while giving the speech!
16. The Worst Advice I’ve Ever Gotten
Bad advice is everywhere! “Just be yourself” doesn’t help when yourself is awkward and weird. And “it’s just water weight” is never comforting to hear from anyone.
Collect the funniest, worst advice you’ve received and explain why it was so terrible. This topic works for teen or adult audiences best. College speeches or work events are good places to use this topic.
17. Things I Wish Had an Undo Button in Real Life
Computers have undo buttons, but real life doesn’t. Talk about moments you wish you could undo, like calling your teacher “Mom” or waving back at someone who was actually waving to the person behind you.
This topic is super relatable because we’ve all had embarrassing moments we wish we could erase. It works for any age group and any setting. Just keep the fails funny rather than too personal!
18. My Epic Fails in the Kitchen
Cooking disasters make great speech material. That time you set off the smoke alarm making toast or turned pasta into glue? Pure comedy!
Share your food fails or make up some wild cooking disasters. This topic works well for family gatherings, cooking clubs, or any group that appreciates food humor. You could even bring a sample of a “successful” recipe at the end!
19. If My Pet Wrote My Biography
Pets see everything we do, and they’d have some opinions! Your dog would focus on how you never share enough of your food. Your cat would write about how you exist solely to serve them.
This topic lets you see yourself through your pet’s eyes, which is always funny. It works well for pet lovers’ groups or casual speeches. People without pets will still laugh because the pet perspective is so silly.
20. The Lies We Tell Our Dentists
“Yes, I floss every day” might be the biggest lie told across America. We all try to impress our dentists with fake good habits right before our appointments.
This topic works because almost everyone goes to the dentist and almost everyone stretches the truth about their dental habits. This speech fits well at health events, work functions, or any adult gathering.
21. My Future According to My Middle School Predictions
Middle school dreams rarely match adult reality. Maybe you thought you’d be a famous rock star by now, but instead you’re excited about finding good deals on toilet paper.
Compare your childhood dreams to your current life for big laughs. This topic works best for high school, college, or adult audiences who can look back and laugh at their younger selves.
22. Ridiculous Fashion Trends I’ve Followed
Fashion can be so silly looking back. Those super low jeans that showed your underwear? That hair bump that made you look like you had a small animal on your head? What were we thinking?
Share your fashion fails with humor and maybe even pictures if you’re brave. This topic works great for friend groups, school reunions, or any group that lived through the same fashion era as you.
23. How I’d Explain Modern Technology to Cave People
Imagine trying to explain TikTok to someone from 10,000 years ago. “So you watch strangers dance for hours instead of hunting food? And this helps you how?”
This fish-out-of-water topic creates funny contrasts between modern life and basic survival. It works for school speeches, tech events, or any group that enjoys thinking about how weird our normal stuff would seem to others.
24. Things My Face Does Without Permission
Faces have minds of their own! That eye twitch during an important meeting, the snort laugh that comes out when you’re trying to be serious, or your “I’m fine” smile that clearly shows you’re not fine.
This relatable topic works for any group because we all have faces that sometimes betray us. It’s great for teen speeches, work events, or anywhere people appreciate self-deprecating humor.
25. My Battle with Autocorrect
Autocorrect is both helpful and horrible. That time you texted your boss “Can’t wait to see you, Grandma” or told your friend you were “bringing the drugs” instead of “drinks” to the party.
Share your funniest autocorrect fails or make up some wild ones. This topic works best with people who use phones a lot, so teen or adult audiences are perfect. Just keep the fails clean for school speeches!
26. If My House Objects Could Talk
What would your couch say after years of holding your lazy butt? Would your fridge complain about your midnight snack habits? Your shower might have some serious questions about your singing skills.
This creative topic lets you give personality to everyday objects. It works for any audience and any setting. You can make the objects sassy, tired, or confused by human behavior.
27. Why Kids Are Smarter Than Adults
Kids say exactly what they think, while adults pretend to know things they don’t. Kids ask “why” until they get real answers, while adults just nod and fake understanding.
This topic works great for family events, parent groups, or teacher gatherings. The contrast between kid logic and adult behavior creates natural humor that anyone can enjoy.
28. My Relationship with Alarm Clocks
The daily battle with your alarm clock is universal comedy. The snooze button dance, the multiple alarms set five minutes apart, or naming your alarms increasingly mean things to motivate yourself to get up.
This topic works for any teen or adult audience because we all hate waking up sometimes. School speeches, work events, or morning meetings are perfect times to use this relatable topic.
29. How I’d Rule the World if I Were King/Queen
Power reveals character, and pretending to have ultimate power can be very funny. Would you make Fridays part of every weekend? Ban meetings that could have been emails? Force everyone to wear silly hats on Tuesdays?
This topic lets you be creative and a little power-crazy in a funny way. It works for school speeches, work events, or any group that enjoys “what if” scenarios. Just keep your fake rules silly rather than actually mean!
30. Things I’ve Pretended to Understand But Definitely Don’t
We all nod along to things we don’t understand sometimes. Maybe you have no idea how the cloud works but you keep all your stuff there anyway. Or you laugh at math jokes without getting them.
This topic is super honest and relatable. Everyone pretends to understand things sometimes, so any audience will connect with it. It works especially well for school or work settings where people often fake knowledge.
Wrapping Up
Giving a funny speech isn’t rocket science (which is good, because I don’t understand rocket science). Pick a topic that makes you smile when you think about it. If you think it’s funny, chances are other people will too.
The best part about funny speeches is that they stick in people’s minds. While serious talks might be forgotten by dinner time, a speech that made someone laugh will be talked about for days. So grab one of these topics, add your own silly spin, and watch as your audience puts down their phones and actually listens to what you have to say!