The gift is bought. The wrapping paper looks perfect. But wait—that blank gift tag is staring at you. “To Bob” feels so boring. You want to make the person laugh when they see your gift. You want them to feel special. But your brain goes totally blank.
We’ve all been there. That moment when you want to be funny but can’t think of a single witty thing to write. It’s like trying to be clever at a party after someone puts you on the spot. Your mind turns into a desert with no clever thoughts for miles.
Don’t worry! I’ve got your back with 30 hilarious messages that will make your gift the hit of any party. These aren’t just regular messages—they’re laugh-out-loud zingers that will have everyone asking, “Who gave THAT gift?”
Funny Things to Write on Gifts
Need to make someone crack up when they open your present? Try these funny gift messages that work for birthdays, holidays, or just because you want to make someone smile.
1. “This gift is almost as awesome as me. Almost.”
This works great for friends who know your playful ego. It’s perfect for birthdays when you want to poke fun at yourself while still giving a gift they’ll love.
Your friend will laugh at your fake self-importance. This message works best with good buddies who get your sense of humor and won’t take it the wrong way.
2. “I picked this out with my eyes closed. Good luck!”
Use this line when giving a gift you actually put thought into. The joke works because they’ll be surprised to find something nice inside.
For added fun, wrap it really badly with too much tape. This creates a funny moment where they’re worried about what they’ll find, making the good gift inside even more special.
3. “This cost more than I wanted to spend on you, but here we are.”
This message is perfect for close friends or siblings. It plays on the fake cheapskate role that makes gift-giving funny between people who know you’re actually generous.
Your receiver will laugh because they know you care about them despite your penny-pinching act. The contrast between the message and your actual thoughtfulness creates the humor.
4. “Happy birthday! This gift expires tomorrow.”
This works wonderfully for items that don’t actually expire. Slap this message on a sweater, book, or jewelry and watch their confused face as they try to figure out how the gift could possibly “expire.”
They’ll get a good laugh once they realize you’re joking. The absurdity makes it funny, especially if you keep a straight face when they ask about the “expiration date.”
5. “I googled ‘perfect gift for someone amazing’ and this came up.”
This message shows you think they’re special without being too sappy. It’s great for friends who hate overly emotional cards but still like knowing you care.
The internet reference makes it modern and relatable. Most people have googled gift ideas at some point, so they’ll appreciate both your honesty and the compliment hidden in the joke.
6. “This gift says ‘I know you better than your search history.'”
This is ideal for close friends who share everything with you. It suggests you know all their secrets in a playful way that feels both creepy and sweet.
The message works best when the gift actually proves you do know their tastes perfectly. The joke lands because it’s slightly uncomfortable but mostly flattering that you pay such close attention.
7. “Warning: Contents may cause extreme happiness and possible dancing.”
This works for any gift that might make someone excited. Adding a mock warning label makes even simple gifts feel more fun and important.
People love the suggestion that your gift is so good it comes with a warning. It builds up their expectations in a funny way, making the unwrapping more exciting regardless of what’s inside.
8. “I saw this and thought of you. That’s either good or concerning.”
Great for quirky or unusual gifts that match the receiver’s personality. This line acknowledges that you’ve found something unique that reminded you specifically of them.
The humor comes from suggesting it might be weird that you connected them with this item. It works even better if the gift is slightly odd but perfect for them, showing how well you know their tastes.
9. “This gift was chosen by my cat. Blame Fluffy if you hate it.”
Perfect for when you’re not sure if they’ll like the gift. Blaming a pet gives you a funny out if the gift isn’t a hit while adding an extra layer of silliness to the exchange.
The mental image of a cat shopping makes anyone smile. For extra laughs, sign the card with your name AND a paw print, or add “Fluffy says you’re welcome” at the bottom.
10. “I wanted to get you something useful, but then I got you this instead.”
This works best with fun, non-practical gifts. The joke is in pretending you failed at getting something sensible when you actually got something they’ll enjoy more.
Good for friends who appreciate experiences over practical items. The line becomes funnier when the gift is clearly something they’ll love but doesn’t solve any real problems in their life.
11. “Open in private unless you want people to be super jealous.”
This message builds excitement and curiosity. It works for any gift but is especially funny for something completely innocent and ordinary.
The recipient will wonder what could possibly make others jealous, only to find regular socks or a coffee mug. The contrast between expectation and reality creates the perfect laugh when they open it.
12. “This gift is a metaphor for our friendship: weird but somehow it works.”
Ideal for odd or unusual gifts that somehow perfectly suit your friend. This message acknowledges the unique bond you share while making them laugh.
Friends appreciate knowing you see your relationship as special. This line celebrates the peculiar connection you have while giving them something that reflects that delightful weirdness.
13. “I’m giving you this so you’ll have to think of me whenever you use it.”
Perfect for everyday items they’ll use regularly. This jokingly admits your true motivation: forcing them to remember you as often as possible.
The humor lies in your fake neediness and desire to be remembered. It works especially well for mundane items like kitchen gadgets or desk accessories that they’ll actually use daily.
14. “This is way better than what I got for your last birthday, which was nothing.”
This works whether you actually forgot their last birthday or not. The self-deprecating humor acknowledges that you might not be perfect while showing you care now.
People appreciate honesty about gift-giving failures. This line makes them laugh while making you look thoughtful for remembering this time around, creating a win-win message.
15. “I wanted to get you something that matched your personality: awesome and slightly odd.”
This message celebrates their uniqueness while making them smile. It works best for friends who pride themselves on being a bit different from the crowd.
Most people enjoy being called “awesome” and don’t mind the gentle tease about their quirks. This message shows you appreciate exactly who they are, oddities and all.
16. “Congratulations on being old enough to fake excitement over a gift you don’t want!”
Perfect for adults of any age, this message pokes fun at the social contract of gift receiving. We all know the forced smile when opening something we don’t love.
This line works because it acknowledges the adult skill of pretending to like gifts. The recipient will laugh because it gives them permission to be honest while appreciating your self-awareness about your gift.
17. “I spent hours picking this out. By hours, I mean 5 minutes before the party.”
This confession of last-minute shopping is best used when you actually DID put thought into the gift. The contrast makes it funny when they open something thoughtful.
Last-minute shopping is relatable to everyone. This message makes them laugh at your procrastination while being pleasantly surprised that you still managed to get something good despite the time crunch.
18. “This gift cost exactly what our friendship is worth: it was on sale.”
Great for close friends who enjoy sarcastic humor. The joke works because you both know your friendship is valuable, making the “on sale” comment absurd.
Your friend will laugh at the fake insult while appreciating that you still got them something nice. This message works best with people who share your dry humor style.
19. “I got you this because you’re too polite to return it.”
This message playfully acknowledges the social awkwardness around unwanted gifts. It’s funny because it points out how trapped we feel by gift-giving etiquette.
The recipient will laugh because you’ve called out the truth about gift returns. It works best when used with a gift they’ll actually like, creating ironic humor through the contrast.
20. “This gift pairs well with lowered expectations.”
Perfect for any gift when you want to play down expectations before they open it. This creates a funny moment where they expect something terrible but get something nice.
The message works by setting up a punchline that’s resolved when they open the gift. Their relief at finding something good inside creates a laugh at how you tricked them with your message.
21. “I got you this because I want to borrow it.”
This hilariously honest message works best for items you might genuinely want to share. It pokes fun at the selfish motivations sometimes behind gift-giving.
The recipient will laugh at your transparency about wanting access to the gift yourself. Books, games, kitchen gadgets, and tools work especially well with this message since they’re commonly borrowed.
22. “This gift removes my obligation to be nice to you for approximately one year.”
This works for good friends who enjoy sarcastic banter. The joke is that you’re only nice because of social gift-giving rules, not because you actually like them.
Friends who share your humor style will laugh at the fake transactional nature of your relationship. The message works best when you’re known for being genuinely kind to them all year round.
23. “Open immediately! Contents may contain my last attempt at being thoughtful.”
This message creates urgency while poking fun at your own gift-giving abilities. It suggests this might be your final effort to choose a meaningful present.
The self-deprecating humor makes people laugh while lowering expectations. When they open something nice, they’ll be pleasantly surprised and appreciate your effort even more after your joke.
24. “This gift comes with a 30-day no-return policy. Sorry, you’re stuck with it.”
This message plays on retail return policies while suggesting your gift is non-returnable. It works for any gift but is especially funny for something slightly unusual.
People will laugh at your “no-return” claim since most gifts can’t be returned anyway. The fake fine print adds a layer of humor that makes the gift feel more official and amusing.
25. “If you don’t like this, pretend you do. My feelings bruise easily.”
This message playfully asks for kindness while acknowledging the awkwardness of receiving an unwanted gift. It’s funny because of your fake emotional fragility.
The recipient will laugh at your dramatic request for validation. This works best when you’re known for being thick-skinned, creating humor through the contrast with your actual personality.
26. “This gift was chosen specifically to make all your other friends jealous.”
Perfect for any gift when you want to add an element of friendly competition. This suggests your gift will outshine all others, creating a funny moment of anticipation.
The joke works because it pretends your motivation was making others look bad rather than making the recipient happy. They’ll laugh at your fake competitive streak while enjoying the gift.
27. “To replace the one I borrowed and definitely didn’t break.”
This message creates a funny backstory even if you never borrowed or broke anything of theirs. It works especially well for items that could plausibly be replacements.
The recipient will be momentarily confused trying to remember what you broke, then laugh when they realize it’s just a joke. This creates a small moment of comedy before they even open the gift.
28. “This gift is as unique as you. That’s either a compliment or an insult.”
Perfect for friends who pride themselves on being different. This message celebrates their uniqueness while leaving room for playful interpretation.
The humor comes from suggesting their uniqueness might not be entirely positive. Friends with good self-esteem will laugh at the gentle tease while appreciating that you see them as one-of-a-kind.
29. “I put as much thought into this gift as you put into reading this message.”
This creates a funny moment of self-awareness as they realize they ARE reading the message carefully. It works for any gift, playing on the meta-experience of reading gift tags.
The recipient will laugh at being caught paying attention to your words. This message creates a small moment of connection, acknowledging that you both care about the exchange despite pretending not to.
30. “This isn’t what you wanted, but it’s what you’re getting. Happy Birthday!”
This bluntly funny message works best when you’re confident they’ll actually like the gift. The fake disappointment sets up a laugh when they open something they do want.
Friends appreciate the honest humor about gift-giving expectations. This line acknowledges the pressure of finding the perfect gift while joking that you’ve given up trying to meet impossible standards.
Wrapping Up
Making someone laugh with a funny gift message shows you care enough to go beyond boring gift tags. These messages add an extra layer of fun to any present, turning a simple gift into a moment they’ll actually talk about later.
Next time you’re stuck staring at a blank gift tag, pick one of these lines and watch their face light up. The right funny message can make even a simple gift feel special and show the person you really get them.
After all, the best gifts come with a side of laughter!