Have you ever been stuck in a porta potty with nothing but your thoughts and that weird blue water to keep you company? Those tiny plastic rooms have seen more drama than any soap opera. From music festivals to construction sites, these magical boxes bring us all to the same level – the sitting level.
Next time you’re in one of these plastic thrones with a pen in your pocket, you might want to leave your mark. But what should you write? A joke? A smart saying? Your phone number? (Please don’t do that last one.) Well, worry no more, my friend. I’ve got you covered with 30 hilarious messages that will make the next visitor’s day a bit brighter.
Funny Things to Write in Porta Potties
Here are some funny words to leave behind in porta potties. Use these with care, and always bring your own marker. The one you find in there is not a marker. Trust me on this.
1. “You’re now sitting on the office throne”
Kings and queens had fancy thrones made of gold. You have this plastic seat with that funny smell. But right now, this is your throne, and you rule this tiny kingdom. No one can rush you.
For best results, use this line in work site porta potties. Your coworkers will get a chuckle knowing that even in here, they can feel like the boss for a few minutes. It hits just right when the boss is being a pain.
2. “Please don’t flush your hopes and dreams”
We’ve all been there – thinking deep thoughts while doing our business. This friendly note is a funny way to tell folks to stay positive, even in this stinky spot. Life gets hard, but don’t give up!
This works great at music festivals where people might be having, um, “deep thoughts” after certain activities. It’s a silly way to spread good vibes in a place that usually lacks them. Your fellow festival goers will thank you with a smile.
3. “Text from this toilet for a good time… just kidding, there’s no signal in here”
This classic joke plays on the old bathroom wall cliché but gives it a modern twist. We all know the pain of losing signal right when we need our phone time the most. The fake-out makes it extra funny.
Best used in remote locations where the phone signal really is terrible. Campers and hikers will laugh at this bitter truth while they’re cut off from the digital world. Sometimes the funniest jokes are the ones that hurt a little.
4. “You’re sitting on what used to be a tree. How does that make you feel?”
This deep thought will make people laugh and think at the same time. No one expects philosophy in a porta potty, which makes it even better. It’s silly but also kind of true.
This works best at outdoor events where nature lovers gather. The irony of using a tree product while surrounded by living trees won’t be lost on them. Bonus points if you write this at a climate change protest.
5. “This is a spaceship. Pull handle to eject”
Turn a boring flush handle into a fun space adventure! This line makes the porta potty feel like a tiny escape pod, ready to blast off at any second. Who doesn’t want to be an astronaut?
Kids love this one, so it’s perfect for family events. Adults will smile too, thinking about how much they wish they could eject from the smell. It turns a yucky task into a bit of play.
6. “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie”
This old saying gets the point across with a silly rhyme. No one likes a wet seat, and this gentle push helps the next person have a better day. The childish words make it less bossy.
Works best in high-traffic porta potties where the seat situation can get scary fast. Festivals, races, and big outdoor shows need this reminder. The cute wording means people don’t feel scolded.
7. “You look nice today… yes, I can see you”
This joke plays on our fear that someone might be watching us in the bathroom. Of course no one is (I hope), which makes the fear so silly that it becomes funny. It’s all about playing with bathroom paranoia.
This joke works in any porta potty, but especially in ones at scary movies or Halloween events. The spooky setting makes the joke hit harder. Just don’t write this if the porta potty actually has a hole or crack in it!
8. “Welcome to the VIP lounge”
Turn the smelliest spot at any event into the fanciest with this simple line. The gap between what a VIP lounge should be and what a porta potty actually is makes this extra funny. Fake fancy is always good for a laugh.
This joke lands best at fancy events where real VIP areas exist. Weddings, golf tournaments, or posh music festivals all work. The bigger the gap between the real VIPs and this blue plastic box, the funnier it gets.
9. “This bathroom is powered by renewable resources: YOUR POO”
A silly take on green energy that makes people feel like they’re helping the planet while doing their business. The all-caps ending drives the joke home with kid-like excitement about poop (which is always funny).
This line is perfect for green events, Earth Day festivals, or any place with a focus on saving the planet. The mix of high-minded eco-talk with potty humor creates a funny clash that works every time.
10. “The average person spends 3 years on the toilet. Make this moment count”
Hit them with a made-up “fact” that sounds just real enough, then add an inspiring message. The mix of bathroom time and life coaching is silly in just the right way. Who needs a life coach when you have porta potty walls?
This works well at self-help events, business conferences, or any place where people talk about “living your best life.” The contrast between big life goals and sitting in a plastic box is comedy gold.
11. “Rate your experience: ★☆☆☆☆ (Still better than the line for beer)”
This joke asks users to rate their porta potty visit while suggesting that even a bad bathroom break beats waiting in long lines. The one-star pre-rating shows you’re in on the joke too. We all know porta potties aren’t five-star spots.
This message shines at events with notoriously long lines – music festivals, sports games, and state fairs. Folks will chuckle knowing that as bad as this plastic box might be, at least they got in quickly. Small wins matter.
12. “You’re now in the thinking room. Big ideas happen here”
This turns the porta potty into a special place for big thoughts. We all know some of our best ideas pop up at weird times, so why not while sitting on a plastic throne? The fancy name for a not-fancy place makes it funny.
This joke works great near offices, at business events, or school functions. Anyone who’s ever had a shower thought will get a kick out of imagining the next big invention coming from porta potty time. Sometimes our brains work in strange ways.
13. “I’m watching you poop… just kidding, that would be weird”
This message plays on bathroom privacy fears with a quick joke that breaks the tension. The setup makes you worry, then the punchline gives relief. It’s like a tiny roller coaster for your emotions while you do your business.
This works in any porta potty, but hits hardest at big crowded events where privacy feels extra important. The shared fear of someone somehow watching makes the joke land with everyone, bringing a moment of silliness to a private moment.
14. “This is where all the cool kids hang out”
Turn the least cool spot at any event into the hippest with this simple line. The joke works because we all know no one hangs out in porta potties by choice. The clash between the claim and reality makes it silly.
Best used at youth events, schools, or anywhere with actual “cool kids” spots. The contrast between the real cool areas (like VIP sections or backstage) and this smelly plastic box creates the perfect joke setup.
15. “You are sitting on a goldmine of fertilizer”
This message finds value in what happens in the porta potty. It’s gross but true – human waste makes good fertilizer! The “goldmine” part adds funny value to something we usually think has none. It’s all about changing your point of view.
This works best at farming events, garden shows, or eco-friendly gatherings. The audience will get the reference to composting and sustainable practices while still giggling at the poop joke. Education and toilet humor in one!
16. “Please remain seated for the entire performance”
Borrowing from airplane talk makes this porta potty visit feel like a fancy show or ride. The formal language for such an informal activity creates the joke. Plus, it’s actually good advice for porta potties that can tip!
This message works great at concerts, plays, or any event where people also get “please remain seated” instructions. The echo of formal event language in this very informal setting creates a funny contrast that most people will catch.
17. “Instagram vs Reality: You’re in the Reality part now”
This modern take on social media fakeness brings a current joke to the porta potty world. We all know Instagram shows the pretty parts of life – and a porta potty definitely falls on the “reality” side of things. It’s funny because it’s true.
This message hits best at very Instagram-worthy events like music festivals, fancy outdoor weddings, or influencer gatherings. The stark contrast between the perfect pics outside and the plastic box reality creates the perfect joke setup.
18. “Don’t look down. There be dragons”
This message turns the scary porta potty bottom into a fantasy adventure. Rather than just being gross, now it’s filled with mythical dangers! The old-timey “there be dragons” phrasing makes it extra silly and less gross.
Works best at events with kids or fantasy fans, like Renaissance fairs, comic conventions, or family festivals. The fantasy reference turns an icky moment into a bit of play, making the whole experience less gross.
19. “This porta potty has seen things you wouldn’t believe”
Giving the porta potty a personality with this line makes it seem like a wise old witness to human behavior. The hint at secrets and stories makes people laugh while wondering what really has happened in here. Some mysteries are better left unsolved.
This joke works at events that have been running for years, like annual festivals or regular construction sites. The idea of this silent plastic witness to years of human moments hits just right when the porta potty clearly has some history.
20. “Plot twist: This isn’t a porta potty”
This one-liner creates instant confusion and makes people look around wondering what they’ve actually entered. Of course it IS a porta potty, which makes the joke work – it’s clearly false but makes you double-check just in case.
This works in any porta potty but hits best when the unit is very obviously a standard model. The more clearly it IS a porta potty, the funnier suggesting it might not be becomes. Sometimes the simplest jokes work best.
21. “You’re now part of a very exclusive sitting club”
This line creates a fake elite group out of porta potty users. The joke works because using a porta potty is the opposite of exclusive – it’s one of the most common shared experiences at big events. Making it sound fancy is where the humor comes from.
This message works best at huge events where thousands of people will use the same porta potties. Music festivals, big sports games, and state fairs all fit the bill. The bigger the crowd, the funnier claiming “exclusivity” becomes.
22. “Scientists say time moves slower in porta potties”
This fake science “fact” feels just true enough to be funny. We’ve all felt time crawl when stuck in a smelly porta potty, so the joke lands because it matches our experience while being clearly made up. The best jokes have a kernel of truth.
This works at science events, education gatherings, or anywhere with smart folks who’ll appreciate the play on Einstein’s relativity. The mix of high-minded science with bathroom humor creates a clash that almost always gets a laugh.
23. “No matter how bad your day is, at least you’re not the person who cleans this”
This message gives instant perspective by reminding users that someone has a much harder job. It’s funny but also kind, making people think about the workers who make events possible. A little gratitude mixed with porta potty humor.
This works especially well at long events where the cleaning crews work hard all day. Music festivals, multi-day fairs, and construction sites all fit. The message lands because we can all agree: that job deserves more thanks than it gets.
24. “Warning: Toilet water not for drinking (yes, someone needed this sign)”
This fake warning sign hints at a wild story we’ll never know. Did someone really drink from a porta potty? Probably not, but imagining that someone might have makes us laugh while feeling better about our own life choices.
This message works at any event but especially those with, let’s say, less inhibited crowds. Music festivals, college events, and places with heavy drinking might actually need this warning! The hint at a previous incident makes it funnier.
25. “This is a judgment-free zone… the smells have been much worse”
This message offers comfort through comparison. We all worry about leaving smells, so knowing “it’s been worse” somehow helps. It’s funny because it speaks to that secret worry we all have but never discuss. Shared bathroom anxiety makes for good jokes.
This works in any porta potty but especially at food festivals, chili cook-offs, or events with lots of eating. The connection between festival food and potential porta potty outcomes is clear to everyone, making the reassurance extra funny.
26. “Please don’t flush your ex’s photos, they clog the system”
This message creates a funny story in the user’s mind – imagining heart-broken people trying to flush away relationship mementos. The mental image is silly, and the fake warning feels like it’s based on a made-up previous incident.
This joke lands best at events where romance might be in the air – weddings, Valentine’s Day festivals, or singles events. The contrast between love and the decidedly unromantic porta potty setting creates a funny clash.
27. “Breaking news: You’re still in a porta potty”
This fake headline states the obvious in a way that makes people laugh at themselves. The joke works because we all zone out sometimes, and the “breaking news” format for such mundane info creates the perfect silly contrast.
This message works anywhere but especially at news or media events. Political rallies, press gatherings, or journalism conferences make the news format joke land even better. Sometimes stating the obvious in a fancy way is all you need for a laugh.
28. “Your phone will survive without you for 5 minutes”
This gentle dig at phone addiction hits close to home for many of us. The joke works because it calls out that porta potty time is often phone scrolling time too. The light scolding makes us laugh at our own habits.
This message works best at tech events, social media conferences, or youth gatherings where phone addiction is most obvious. The soft call-out of a shared habit makes people smile in recognition while maybe reconsidering that porta potty scroll.
29. “Notice: This unit moves 5 feet to the left when flushed”
This clearly fake warning creates a moment of doubt – it’s obviously not true, but the official wording might make some people pause for just a second. That moment of “wait, really?” before realizing it’s a joke is what makes it work.
This joke works best at events where the porta potties are arranged in long rows. Construction sites, large festivals, and sporting events all fit the bill. The visual of dozens of porta potties suddenly shifting makes the joke even funnier.
30. “You look great today! (This message sponsored by the porta potty mirror association)”
This final message is both a compliment and a joke about the lack of mirrors in most porta potties. The fake “association” makes it feel like an official message, adding another layer to the silliness. Everyone knows they don’t look their best in a porta potty.
This works at any event but especially at fancy gatherings where people care about their appearance. Fashion shows, weddings, and upscale parties all work perfectly. The contrast between appearance concerns and the decidedly unglamorous porta potty setting hits just right.
Wrapping Up
Next time nature calls and you find yourself in a plastic box of wonders, maybe one of these messages will make you smile. Or better yet, leave your own mark (with words, please, not anything else) for the next person to enjoy.
Life’s too short not to laugh, even in life’s least funny places. And if these messages teach us anything, it’s that humor can be found anywhere – even in a porta potty on a hot summer day. Happy writing, friends!