That letter board you bought looks great on your wall. It’s clean. It’s fancy. But it’s also blank. And blank is boring. You stare at those tiny plastic letters in the box thinking, “What do I say that’s funny without making Grandma frown when she visits?” Don’t worry! Your letter board can be both hilarious AND family-friendly.
I’ve spent way too much time looking at letter boards online (yes, that’s what I call “work”). Now I’m sharing the best funny sayings that will make your guests laugh without making them uncomfortable. Let’s turn that empty board into comedy gold!
Funny Things to Write on Letter Board
Here are 30 hilarious messages for your letter board that will brighten up any room and give your guests something to chuckle about while they wait for you to finish cooking dinner.
1. “I Was Addicted To The Hokey Pokey But I Turned Myself Around”
This play on words takes the classic children’s dance song and turns it into a recovery joke. The punchline hits just right because “turning yourself around” is both what you do in the Hokey Pokey and what happens in personal growth.
Best used in entryways or living rooms where guests first enter. The joke works instantly without context, making it perfect for that first laugh when friends walk through your door.
2. “My Cleaning Lady Is Coming Tomorrow So I Cleaned For Her Today”
This relatable joke pokes fun at our weird habit of cleaning before the cleaner arrives. It taps into that universal guilty feeling of not wanting judgment from the person we’re paying to clean.
Perfect for kitchens or laundry rooms where cleaning actually happens. This saying gets extra laughs from dinner party guests who’ve done the exact same thing but thought they were the only ones.
3. “I’m On A Seafood Diet – I See Food And I Eat It”
This classic dad joke uses the word “see” as a pun on “sea” while confessing to having no willpower around food. The misdirection works because you expect actual diet advice but get a confession instead.
Display this one in your kitchen or dining area for maximum effect. Your foodie friends will groan with delight while reaching for another snack from your counter.
4. “I Don’t Want To Adult Today. Please Don’t Make Me Adult.”
This funny message speaks to everyone’s secret wish to escape grown-up tasks. By turning “adult” into a verb, it perfectly captures that feeling of responsibility overwhelm we all get sometimes.
Place this in your home office or by the bills stack. Visitors will nod in agreement while secretly feeling better that they’re not the only ones struggling with grown-up life.
5. “The Fact That There’s A Highway To Hell And Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot About Traffic”
This clever observation combines AC/DC and Led Zeppelin references into a traffic joke. The humor comes from applying everyday logic to religious concepts in a way that’s witty without being offensive.
This works great in hallways or transitional spaces in your home. Music lovers especially appreciate the dual band reference while the traffic observation makes everyone smirk.
6. “Dear Naps, I’m Sorry I Was Mean To You As A Kid”
This apology to naps speaks directly to the soul of tired adults everywhere. The personification of naps makes the message both cute and deeply relatable to anyone over 25.
Best placed in bedrooms or cozy living spaces. This saying hits hardest on weekend afternoons when your visitors are fighting their own urge to doze off on your couch.
7. “I Just Did A Week’s Worth Of Cardio After Walking Into A Spider Web”
This exaggerated reaction to spider webs is something almost everyone can relate to. The joke works by comparing our dramatic flailing to actual exercise, making our fear seem productive.
Place this in less-frequently cleaned areas like porches or garages for ironic effect. This saying gets extra laughs during cleaning seasons when spider encounters are more likely.
8. “I Need A Six Month Holiday, Twice A Year”
This impossible wish highlights how badly we all need breaks. The math makes it funny – asking for essentially a full year off while pretending it’s just a reasonable request for some time away.
Works best in home offices or by calendars. Your working friends will laugh while secretly calculating if they could actually swing this with their vacation days.
9. “My Bed Is A Magical Place Where I Suddenly Think Of Great Ideas”
This observation about midnight inspiration pokes fun at how our brains work against us. The contrast between wanting sleep and suddenly becoming creative makes for a shared experience everyone recognizes.
Perfect for bedrooms or nightstands. This message validates those who keep notepads by their beds while making others feel normal about their own late-night eureka moments.
10. “Today’s Menu: Take It Or Leave It”
This no-nonsense approach to meal options brings honest kitchen humor to your home. By presenting a non-choice as a menu, it pokes fun at both fancy restaurants and our own lack of cooking motivation.
Display this in kitchens for maximum impact. Parents especially love this saying because it perfectly captures their feelings about making multiple meals for picky eaters.
11. “The Best Exercise Is A Cross Between A Lunge And A Crunch… It’s Called Lunch”
This food-focused wordplay connects exercise terms with eating habits. The setup sounds like actual fitness advice before the punchline reveals it’s just about eating, creating a perfect misdirection.
Works wonderfully in dining areas or kitchens. Your health-conscious friends will appreciate the gentle mockery of fitness culture while everyone enjoys the clever wordplay.
12. “If You’re Happy And You Know It, Go Back To Bed”
This twist on the classic children’s song acknowledges how much adults value sleep. The humor comes from replacing the expected hand-clapping with something we actually want to do.
Place this in bedrooms or guest rooms. Morning people might shake their heads while night owls will give you a knowing nod of approval.
13. “I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In”
This joke plays on the dual meaning of “child-proof” to deliver a surprise punchline. What starts as a home safety comment becomes a playful complaint about kids being everywhere.
This message works best in family rooms or play areas. Parents will laugh out loud while non-parents finally understand what their friends have been complaining about.
14. “I Don’t Hold Grudges, I Hold Receipts”
This sassy statement updates the concept of grudges for the digital age. The modern twist of keeping evidence rather than just staying mad adds a layer of humor through its practicality.
Display this near your home office or wherever you keep important papers. Friends with similar humor will instantly want to take photos to share with their equally petty friends.
15. “I Don’t Need Google, My Wife Knows Everything”
This playful marriage joke works by comparing a spouse to the world’s biggest search engine. The exaggeration of someone knowing “everything” makes both parties in the relationship smile.
Works well in shared spaces like living rooms. Married couples will exchange knowing looks while singles make mental notes about their future relationship expectations.
16. “Coffee Makes Me Feel Less Like A Murderer”
This darkly funny coffee tribute speaks to morning people and night owls alike. The extreme contrast between violent thoughts and a simple beverage creates unexpected humor that coffee addicts especially appreciate.
Place this near your coffee station for maximum effect. Early visitors will point and nod while reaching for their cups with newfound understanding.
17. “Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry”
This food-related apology acknowledges how hunger affects our mood. The humor comes from the unspoken admission that we’ve all said terrible things when our blood sugar drops too low.
Perfect for kitchen or dining areas. This message gets knowing smiles from everyone, but especially from those who’ve witnessed your hangry moments firsthand.
18. “I Make Pour Decisions”
This alcohol pun works through the homophone of “poor” and “pour.” The clever wordplay admits to questionable choices while blaming it on the act of serving drinks.
Ideal for bar areas or wherever you keep your drinks. Guests will chuckle while possibly proving the statement true by accepting another glass of whatever you’re serving.
19. “WiFi Password: Not Telling”
This joke plays with the expectation that you’re actually sharing information. Visitors looking for internet access get a moment of confusion before realizing they’ve been pranked.
Works best near your router or in common areas where guests first ask for WiFi. The beauty is watching people try to type “not telling” before they get the joke.
20. “I Just Want To Be As Cool As I Think My Dog Says I Am”
This pet-lover message captures our hope that our pets admire us. The humor comes from admitting we care about impressing beings who eat garbage and chase their tails.
Place this where your pet hangs out for added effect. Pet owners will immediately look at their furry friends with renewed appreciation for their uncritical love.
21. “Alexa, Make Me Dinner”
This simple request to a digital assistant highlights the gap between tech promises and reality. We all wish our smart speakers could handle more practical tasks, making this relatable to anyone with modern gadgets.
Works best in kitchens near your actual smart devices. Tech-savvy guests will laugh while secretly wishing this command actually worked.
22. “Therapist: $100. Pizza: $10. Hiding From Problems: Priceless”
This price comparison parodies the famous credit card commercials while acknowledging unhealthy coping mechanisms. The format feels familiar while the content offers a surprising twist at the end.
Display this in dining areas or kitchens. Friends will relate to both the avoidance strategy and the comfort food solution, creating bonding through shared emotional eating experiences.
23. “I’m On A Whiskey Diet, I’ve Lost Three Days Already”
This alcohol joke plays with the dual meaning of “lost” in dieting and drinking contexts. The misdirection works because you expect weight loss but get time loss instead.
Perfect for bar areas or entertainment spaces. This saying gets appreciative chuckles from social drinkers while serving as a gentle warning about overdoing it.
24. “Welcome To Our Home Where The Dog Hair Is Free And The Judgement Is Plenty”
This honest household description acknowledges both pet messes and family attitudes. The contrast between the hospitality of “welcome” and the warning about judgment creates a funny tension.
Place this by entryways where guests first arrive. Dog owners will immediately feel at home while everyone appreciates the upfront honesty about what awaits them inside.
25. “I Made Myself A To-Do List But I Lost It So Now I Guess I’m Free”
This celebration of accidental freedom pokes fun at our organization attempts. The logic of “no list means no tasks” is delightfully flawed in a way we all wish were true.
Works well in home offices or by calendars. Organized friends will smile knowingly while the perpetually scattered will take it as legitimate life advice.
26. “Life Goal: Become Better At Making Lists”
This meta goal makes fun of our endless self-improvement plans. By making the goal itself about making better goals, it captures the circular nature of productivity culture.
Display this near workspaces or planning areas. Friends will appreciate the irony of a single-item list about making better lists.
27. “Everyone Brings Joy To This House – Some By Entering, Some By Leaving”
This brutally honest assessment of visitors splits them into two hilarious categories. The balanced structure makes it feel like wisdom while actually being a clever insult to annoying guests.
Place this in entryways for maximum impact. Good friends will laugh while secretly wondering which category they fall into.
28. “My House Was Clean Yesterday, Sorry You Missed It”
This perfect excuse for mess acknowledges the fleeting nature of household tidiness. The fake apology makes it even funnier because it suggests cleaning was done for visitors rather than residents.
Works in any room that’s currently cluttered. Neat friends will smile sympathetically while messy ones will immediately want to buy this saying for their own homes.
29. “I’m Not Lazy, I’m On Energy-Saving Mode”
This environmental spin on laziness reframes doing nothing as being eco-friendly. By connecting with green trends, it makes couch potato behavior seem almost noble.
Perfect for living rooms or wherever your most comfortable seating is located. Friends will laugh while possibly joining you in “saving energy” on your sofa.
30. “I’m Sorry For The Things I Said When You Tried To Wake Me Up”
This sleep-deprived apology acknowledges how terrible we can be when disturbed. Without specifying what was said, it lets everyone fill in their own worst morning moments.
Place this in bedrooms or wherever morning interactions happen. Partners will point at it meaningfully after rough awakenings while guests will get insight into your morning personality.
Wrapping Up
Your letter board is more than just home decor—it’s your chance to show off your sense of humor without saying a word. These 30 funny sayings give you options for every room and mood. From coffee jokes to pet humor, there’s something to make everyone who enters your home smile.
So grab those little plastic letters and start spelling out some laughs. Just be ready for guests taking photos of your witty display—your letter board might become more popular on social media than you are!